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Creating Successful Leaders

Category Archives: Communication

Throughout the years on this blog, I have often talked about heart-led leadership. This type of leadership is rooted in empathy and genuine care for others. It is not weak and does not involve being a pushover. Rather, it centers around building others up, engaging and empowering your team, and creating positive motion and change. This week, I want to address one specific aspect of heart-led leadership: checking in.

Far too often, we dive straight into business without taking the time to ask how the other person or people are doing. And I’m not talking about surface-level pleasantries that typically go, “How are you?” “Fine.” I’m talking about creating the space to let people be a little honest and vulnerable if they choose. No one should feel obligated to share anything they don’t want to share, but all people should feel invited to share it they’d like.

How might this look in practice? If you’re leading a meeting, you could take a few minutes at the beginning to let people open up. If something big has happened at work or in the local community (either good or bad), you could also acknowledge that. For example: “I know it’s been a tough week for everyone since we lost Client ABC, so I wanted to check in to see how everyone’s feeling and if you have any brief thoughts related to that.”

Another example: “I know the city has been chaotic lately with recent events, so I want to check in to gauge everyone’s headspace and see if I can offer extra support in some way.”

Keep in mind, this approach may not be appropriate for all groups at all times. You probably wouldn’t have this type of check-in with teams you barely know or when you only have a quick meeting scheduled. Use your judgement.

Alternatively, it can often be best to check in with others individually. In fact, you should probably do this anyway, regardless of whether you decide to check in with an entire group. An individual check-in is more personal, and if the other person really feels the need to open up about something, they can do so in private. But you have to build trust first! Demonstrate that you are respectful, a good listener, discrete with sensitive information, and that you genuinely care.

Checking in with team members helps create a safe and supportive space where people are free to be, well…people. Imperfect, stressed, frustrated, sad—we all feel these types of emotions sometimes, and it’s nearly impossible to stop their effects from trickling into the workplace. So why attempt to stop them? It’s better to get an idea of what the people in your office are going through and feeling so you can offer whatever resources, support, or allowances they need.

In short: a human workplace is a welcoming workplace.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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Empathy is a term that is used frequently and not always in a positive manner. It is sometimes viewed as weak or wishy-washy. And some people even see it as political. In truth, empathy is not a sign of weakness but of strength. And it isn’t political, or religious, or only meant for a certain segment of the population. Rather, it is deeply human and more necessary than ever.

It’s important to note that empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy relates to feeling sorry for another, or even pitying them. Empathy is more about understanding. It’s about expanding your horizons to see another’s perspective. It’s about being curious and open enough to want to understand. This innate curiosity helps people of all backgrounds and beliefs work together, live side by side, and cooperate.

Because no two people are alike, empathy can, indeed, be a superpower. It’s a way to reach others, negotiate, and have productive dialogues. When there’s a need for creativity or brainstorming solutions, it’s a way of gathering different ideas and making sense of them. That’s because empathy goes hand-in-hand with solution seeking. It is essentially the opposite of combativeness or stubbornness.

In my experience, empathetic leaders are often skilled at bringing out the best in their teams. These individuals understand the importance of truly listening—soaking in both what someone is saying and the context or subtext related to what is being said. For example, if a team member is adamant about gearing a product toward working parents, an empathetic leader might think about what they know about that team member. Maybe they are a single mother who faces numerous everyday challenges. As such, their passion makes sense, and the empathetic leader will know they are speaking from experience. Likely, this person is not the only one who is facing similar struggles, and it is probably smart to consider their perspective when developing products or solutions.

Empathy is useful in all different contexts, both within and outside of the workplace. It’s a simple fact that everyone wants to be understood and listened to. Because of this, an empathetic person makes a good conversation partner by giving others the space to express themselves and explain their perspective. That doesn’t mean being a pushover, and it doesn’t mean an empathetic person doesn’t have their own opinions and beliefs. It simply means that they are open to listening and understanding.

In a world where things are often portrayed as black and white, empathy is a courageous but necessary choice. Without it, we would constantly be at loggerheads with others, stuck in a single perspective. That’s not productive, and it only creates animosity and hard feelings. Rather, let’s make an effort to choose empathy and start really listening to what others have to say. That can make all the difference.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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two business people high fiving at a table with a laptop between them

With retirement from UXL on the horizon, I have been reflecting on various lessons I’ve learned as a manager, a career coach, and a mentor. One of the lessons that came to mind recently is how we each have different strengths, interests, and attributes. This diversity of thinking and being is an incredible asset to the workplace. With the right mix of creatives, “techies,” leaders, organizers, etc., an organization can operate more smoothly and have a greater reach.

This acceptance of variety/diversity in the workplace allows people to really stretch their abilities and be their full selves—to capitalize on their strengths and interests. Furthermore, as an individual contributor, you often have the power to lean into your strengths and deflect or delegate assignments that are not a great fit.

While it may not seem “sporting” to pass a certain task or project to another, it can ultimately be the best option for all parties involved. I think about a time when I was assigned a project that was not a great fit. I waffled for a while, trying to figure out how to approach it, and then it dawned on me: My boss didn’t care who completed this project, he just wanted it done. With this in mind, I decided to approach my colleague Tom, who was much better suited to the project than I was. He was analytical, where I was more creative. He enjoyed spreadsheets and charts, while I tended to get sleepy just looking at them!

In exchange, I picked up one of the projects on Tom’s plate that was better suited to my skillset and interests. We kept our boss in the loop about the switch and, as suspected, he didn’t care which people tackled the projects, as long as they were completed satisfactorily. With our tasks ahead of us, Tom and I worked on our respective projects, kept in touch, and handed off the work when we were done. The results were great, and we were encouraged to collaborate in this way for future projects.

This story brings up several lessons, including the following:

Be honest with yourself. Recognize both your strengths and shortcomings, and have the humility to admit when you’re in over your head (or when you’re simply uninterested in or put off by a project or task).

Recognize others’ strengths. Make an effort to learn about your colleagues, and start building an understanding of their abilities and interests. Talk openly and honestly with them to get a sense of who they are as an individual, and what makes them “tick.”

Frame your ask in a positive way. Just because you’re dreading a certain assignment doesn’t mean it’s an “undesirable” task. Different people are drawn to different types of work. Some people enjoy the rhythm and logic of data entry. Some like contacting/surveying customers. Others revel in all things creative and truly shine when it comes to brainstorming ideas or coming up with imaginative designs. In other words, handing someone an unwanted assign isn’t necessarily a bad thing—it just doesn’t fit with your disposition or abilities.

Offer to reciprocate. Whether immediately or down the road, it’s important to be open to reciprocating the work. Make it clear that you will gladly take on one of your colleague’s unwanted tasks in exchange for them taking on yours.

Results are more important than the path. This is something I’ve learned over and over. It doesn’t really matter how an individual or group winds up at the “end point.” What matters are the results. If achieving those results means shifting project responsibilities, then most people will be open to that shift.

We all have varying strengths, interests, and wheelhouses. Instead of letting an undesirable project eat away at you, consider enlisting help from others or shifting project responsibilities. It doesn’t serve you, your work team, OR the business to struggle and ultimately produce subpar work. In short, play to your strengths.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

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