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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Changing Your Life

August 14, 2024 Remember to Laugh (using humor as a tool)

The world can be a serious place. Whether you’re dealing with personal or familial problems, or thinking about the world at large, troubles seem to abound. Everywhere we turn, we’re bombarded with bad news about politics, crime, the environment, and on and on. And all these hardships and worries can seriously test our resilience.

What to do? Of course, there are proactive measure you can take to better your personal circumstances or to make a positive contribution to your community, nation, or world. You could volunteer, donate, take classes (or share your own skills), etc., etc.

While those proactive steps are wonderful, you may not feel like being so active and involved every single day. Some days, you simply need to take care of yourself—your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. Aside from the basics (eating healthy meals, exercising, getting enough sleep), one way to boost your resilience is to have a good laugh.

While it may sound simplistic, laughter really can be the best medicine. It can make us feel lighter and happier. It can give us mental clarity, or help us forge connections with those around us. Even during our toughest, darkest periods, laughter can ease our pain or enable us to cope with grief, anxiety, or heartache.

In addition to mental and emotional benefits, laughter can also provide physical benefits. In a Psychology Today article, researcher and author Robyne Hanley-Dafoe says, “Laughter is the body’s natural painkiller, allowing the body to release endorphins.” She goes on to say, “In the shorter term, it activates and releases your stress response and soothes away built-up tension. In the long term, research suggests laughter improves our immune system, relieves pain in the moment, and increases our pain threshold.”

How can you seek more opportunities to include laughter in your life? I suggest any of the following:

Stop Taking Life So Seriously

Everyone makes mistakes, has occasional bad luck, or goes through difficult times. But try not to be so hard on yourself. Laugh at your own foibles and find the humor in life’s absurdities. If you can, try to find the funny side of situations and let the little annoyances slide.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Some people seem dead-set on being miserable, and they (unfortunately) can be very good at making others miserable as well. Do your best to distance yourself from this type of person. Instead, surround yourself with people who will make you laugh, provide a healthy dose of positivity, and who can see the lighter side of life.

Seek Humorous Entertainment

Whether it’s a comedy show, a funny movie, or a witty podcast, try seeking entertainment that will make you laugh. Laughter is contagious, so surrounding yourself with humorous content can boost your mood and outlook. Additionally, reading or watching something lighthearted can provide a much-needed mental break from the stresses of daily life.

Have Perspective

If you bombed your PowerPoint presentation or accidentally left your car window open in the rain, that can be annoying or embarrassing, but is it really the end of the world? Instead of dwelling too much on small mishaps, try to step back and gain some perspective. Will this matter in a week? A month? A year? Putting things into that larger context can help you avoid getting bogged down by minor issues. Instead, you can learn from your mistakes, move forward, and find the humor in the situation.

In the face of life’s challenges, don’t forget to make time for laughter. Laughter is a powerful tool that can boost your resilience and help you weather life’s storms. By making a proactive effort to laugh more and not take life so seriously, you can cultivate a mindset that helps you better navigate life’s challenges.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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July 17, 2024 Taking the Leap: Overcoming Fear of Change

In some situations, you will never be one-hundred-percent, fully ready. This applies to both our personal lives (getting married, starting a family, moving to a new city or state) and professional lives (asking for a promotion, switching jobs or career paths, accepting a new role). In these cases, the path of least resistance might be to do nothing—to carry on with life as usual. If we constantly do this, however, we miss opportunities to grow, and we could miss out on some of life’s greatest adventures and rewards.

But I do understand that change can be difficult. It can push us far out of our comfort zones, challenge us in all kinds of ways, and force us to pivot or adapt. We might have to change our familiar routines or deeply ingrained habits. Or we might have to learn a variety of new skills, meet new people, or familiarize ourselves with new systems or places. This is all tough stuff, but as the saying goes, “Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

When you’re considering whether to make a potentially life-altering change, it can be helpful to take a few steps.

Prepare as Best as You Can

Though it is nearly impossible to prepare for all outcomes of a major change, you can undertake whatever preparations you can. Parenting is a great example of this. Although you’ll never be able to predict every challenge you’ll face or every difficulty, you can still make plenty of preparations by reading parenting books, designing a suitable nursery, establishing a pediatrician, talking with other parents, and more. In the workplace, you can prepare for a new role by researching the company, understanding the expectations, and seeking guidance from colleagues who have previously held similar positions. By arming yourself with knowledge and support, you can increase your confidence in taking on these new challenges.

Keep the Benefits in Mind

While you’re in the thick of the “tough stuff” associated with any major life change, you might question your decision or wish you had done things differently. However, it is much more motivating and empowering to focus on the benefits of your new situation. Think about things such as:

  • Personal growth (that you have or will experience)
  • New opportunities
  • Exciting adventures and rewards
  • Developing new skills and relationships
  • Learning and adapting to new environments
  • Finding deeper fulfillment and satisfaction
  • Gaining confidence and resilience
  • Appreciating the journey and the lessons learned
  • Building a sense of purpose and direction through new experiences

When you focus on these benefits, you’re more likely to be excited and motivated by the change. This will help to propel you forward.

Don’t Wait Around for “Perfect”

The truth is, situations are rarely perfect. The time may not ever be quite right to move to a new city, for example, or start a new career path. Even so, it doesn’t serve you (or your long-term goals and dreams) to wait around, since the perfect moment may never come. Embrace the idea that there will always be some level of uncertainty or discomfort when making a significant change. Instead of waiting for everything to align perfectly, focus on your readiness to adapt and grow through the process. Take the plunge, knowing that facing challenges head-on is essential for personal and professional development.

Remember, it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure when facing significant changes. If you prepare as best you can, focus on the benefits, and make peace with a little risk-taking, that can help ease your transition and set you up for success. Embracing change is about taking calculated risks, being open to new experiences, and understanding that growth often comes from stepping outside of our comfort zones. Change may be challenging, but it also presents opportunities for personal and professional development that can enrich our lives in ways we never imagined.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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July 10, 2024 How to Manage Your Mulling

Many people I know are worriers. They mull over situations, thinking about various outcomes, or fretting about potential missteps or failures. While it can be okay to mull things over, it becomes problematic when it’s all-consuming, taking up so much brain space that it’s difficult to think about anything else.

How do you stop nonstop mulling? How can you get past the thing that is taking up so much time and mental space? Here are four methods to try:

Designate Mulling Time

While it sounds counterintuitive, it can be effective to temporarily give in to your mulling and give it your full attention. Set aside time to let yourself ponder, jot down thoughts, and/or plan. This designated mulling time can help you to reflect on your thoughts and concerns in a structured manner. By setting specific times for mulling, you can contain the worrying thoughts to certain periods, allowing yourself to focus on other tasks without interruption. Additionally, having designated mulling time can prevent thoughts from consuming your entire day, giving you a sense of control over your worries. This approach helps in managing excessive overthinking and promotes a more balanced mental state.

Strategize

Instead of fixating on a problem or situation, try focusing on potential solutions. This will shift you from a place of helplessness to a place of productivity. Try brainstorming solutions, mapping out potential paths, and/or considering various outcomes for certain strategies. This approach can help you break free from the cycle of overthinking and move towards constructive problem-solving. By strategizing and exploring different options, you can empower yourself to take action and make progress. This type of strategic work can be undertaken by yourself or with others.

Talk It Out

In some cases, it can be healthy and productive to talk about the situation with others. If you’re in a mental rut, others’ perspectives can be tremendously helpful, and they might provide insights or suggestions you hadn’t considered on your own. Talking to someone else can offer a fresh perspective, new ideas, or emotional support. It can also help you gain clarity and process your thoughts more effectively. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, sharing your concerns can lighten the mental load and provide you with the encouragement or guidance you need to navigate through challenging situations.

Refocus Your Attention

Refocusing your attention is another effective way to manage excessive mulling. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or spending time with loved ones. By diverting your focus to positive and enjoyable pursuits, you not only break the cycle of overthinking, you also give yourself the added benefit of enhancing your overall well-being. Immersing yourself in different experiences can provide mental clarity, reduce stress, and contribute to a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle. I recommend prioritizing self-care and activities that nourish your mind and spirit.

While mulling can be productive and eventually lead you to solutions, it can also be all-consuming and distracting. To exit the mulling hamster wheel, try any of the above strategies to regain control over your thoughts. It’s time to develop a healthier approach to dealing with worries and uncertainties. You can start with just a few simple and intentional actions.MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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