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Category Archives: Changing Your Life

In some situations, you will never be one-hundred-percent, fully ready. This applies to both our personal lives (getting married, starting a family, moving to a new city or state) and professional lives (asking for a promotion, switching jobs or career paths, accepting a new role). In these cases, the path of least resistance might be to do nothing—to carry on with life as usual. If we constantly do this, however, we miss opportunities to grow, and we could miss out on some of life’s greatest adventures and rewards.

But I do understand that change can be difficult. It can push us far out of our comfort zones, challenge us in all kinds of ways, and force us to pivot or adapt. We might have to change our familiar routines or deeply ingrained habits. Or we might have to learn a variety of new skills, meet new people, or familiarize ourselves with new systems or places. This is all tough stuff, but as the saying goes, “Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

When you’re considering whether to make a potentially life-altering change, it can be helpful to take a few steps.

Prepare as Best as You Can

Though it is nearly impossible to prepare for all outcomes of a major change, you can undertake whatever preparations you can. Parenting is a great example of this. Although you’ll never be able to predict every challenge you’ll face or every difficulty, you can still make plenty of preparations by reading parenting books, designing a suitable nursery, establishing a pediatrician, talking with other parents, and more. In the workplace, you can prepare for a new role by researching the company, understanding the expectations, and seeking guidance from colleagues who have previously held similar positions. By arming yourself with knowledge and support, you can increase your confidence in taking on these new challenges.

Keep the Benefits in Mind

While you’re in the thick of the “tough stuff” associated with any major life change, you might question your decision or wish you had done things differently. However, it is much more motivating and empowering to focus on the benefits of your new situation. Think about things such as:

  • Personal growth (that you have or will experience)
  • New opportunities
  • Exciting adventures and rewards
  • Developing new skills and relationships
  • Learning and adapting to new environments
  • Finding deeper fulfillment and satisfaction
  • Gaining confidence and resilience
  • Appreciating the journey and the lessons learned
  • Building a sense of purpose and direction through new experiences

When you focus on these benefits, you’re more likely to be excited and motivated by the change. This will help to propel you forward.

Don’t Wait Around for “Perfect”

The truth is, situations are rarely perfect. The time may not ever be quite right to move to a new city, for example, or start a new career path. Even so, it doesn’t serve you (or your long-term goals and dreams) to wait around, since the perfect moment may never come. Embrace the idea that there will always be some level of uncertainty or discomfort when making a significant change. Instead of waiting for everything to align perfectly, focus on your readiness to adapt and grow through the process. Take the plunge, knowing that facing challenges head-on is essential for personal and professional development.

Remember, it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure when facing significant changes. If you prepare as best you can, focus on the benefits, and make peace with a little risk-taking, that can help ease your transition and set you up for success. Embracing change is about taking calculated risks, being open to new experiences, and understanding that growth often comes from stepping outside of our comfort zones. Change may be challenging, but it also presents opportunities for personal and professional development that can enrich our lives in ways we never imagined.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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Many people I know are worriers. They mull over situations, thinking about various outcomes, or fretting about potential missteps or failures. While it can be okay to mull things over, it becomes problematic when it’s all-consuming, taking up so much brain space that it’s difficult to think about anything else.

How do you stop nonstop mulling? How can you get past the thing that is taking up so much time and mental space? Here are four methods to try:

Designate Mulling Time

While it sounds counterintuitive, it can be effective to temporarily give in to your mulling and give it your full attention. Set aside time to let yourself ponder, jot down thoughts, and/or plan. This designated mulling time can help you to reflect on your thoughts and concerns in a structured manner. By setting specific times for mulling, you can contain the worrying thoughts to certain periods, allowing yourself to focus on other tasks without interruption. Additionally, having designated mulling time can prevent thoughts from consuming your entire day, giving you a sense of control over your worries. This approach helps in managing excessive overthinking and promotes a more balanced mental state.

Strategize

Instead of fixating on a problem or situation, try focusing on potential solutions. This will shift you from a place of helplessness to a place of productivity. Try brainstorming solutions, mapping out potential paths, and/or considering various outcomes for certain strategies. This approach can help you break free from the cycle of overthinking and move towards constructive problem-solving. By strategizing and exploring different options, you can empower yourself to take action and make progress. This type of strategic work can be undertaken by yourself or with others.

Talk It Out

In some cases, it can be healthy and productive to talk about the situation with others. If you’re in a mental rut, others’ perspectives can be tremendously helpful, and they might provide insights or suggestions you hadn’t considered on your own. Talking to someone else can offer a fresh perspective, new ideas, or emotional support. It can also help you gain clarity and process your thoughts more effectively. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, sharing your concerns can lighten the mental load and provide you with the encouragement or guidance you need to navigate through challenging situations.

Refocus Your Attention

Refocusing your attention is another effective way to manage excessive mulling. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or spending time with loved ones. By diverting your focus to positive and enjoyable pursuits, you not only break the cycle of overthinking, you also give yourself the added benefit of enhancing your overall well-being. Immersing yourself in different experiences can provide mental clarity, reduce stress, and contribute to a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle. I recommend prioritizing self-care and activities that nourish your mind and spirit.

While mulling can be productive and eventually lead you to solutions, it can also be all-consuming and distracting. To exit the mulling hamster wheel, try any of the above strategies to regain control over your thoughts. It’s time to develop a healthier approach to dealing with worries and uncertainties. You can start with just a few simple and intentional actions.MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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It is said that a river can cut through a mountain not because of its power, but because of its persistence. Little by little, year after year, the water will eat away at the rock until it carves a path. One has only to look at the Grand Canyon to see how something as ordinary as water can dramatically alter the landscape over time.

There is a lesson in this persistence.

In our modern world, we often want instant gratification or immediate results. We order a package, we get it the next day (or even the same day)! We want a question answered, we pull out our phones and find what we’re looking for. While modern technology can, of course, be a good thing, it has also eroded our patience and persistence. We are not as practiced at having to wait for results, and we may forget the value of persistence when things come too easily. True progress often requires time, effort, and unwavering dedication.

Fortunately, persistence is a skill that can be learned and developed. To start building your own perseverance, I suggest taking some of the following steps:

Set Clear Goals

When you keep your sights set on the end goal, it is easier to stick with the task at hand, no matter how long or tedious. By keeping your goals in mind, you have a constant reminder of why you are persisting. This clarity can help you stay focused and motivated, especially during challenging times.

Break Down Tasks

Sometimes, looking at a large goal can feel overwhelming and lead to procrastination. Breaking it down into smaller, manageable tasks can make the journey seem more achievable.

Celebrate Milestones

Every step forward deserves your acknowledgement and celebration. By taking a brief pause to recognize what you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come, you give yourself the fuel to keep going, keep persisting. These little celebrations serve as reminders of your progress and keep you motivated along the way.

Seek Support

Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you. Having a strong support system can provide the encouragement and motivation needed to continue pushing forward. Whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, or mentors, their support can make a significant difference in your journey to success.

Like a river slowly shaping the land, our consistent actions can lead to significant changes in our lives. Embracing the power of persistence allows us to overcome obstacles, achieve our goals, and ultimately create a lasting impact. Let us remember the wisdom of the river and persist in our pursuits with determination and resilience.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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