Category Archives: Changing Your Life
March 15, 2017 What is your everyday legacy?
When you think of the term “Legacy,” you probably think of the grand achievements that people are remembered for. It’s the scholarship fund that you founded or the football stadium that’s named after you.
Sure, those are Legacies. But they are the big-picture results. They’re the long-term Legacies that you leave behind. I urge you to focus on your living legacy—the everyday things you do that impact others and the world.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t think about your long-term Legacy (or your “capital L” Legacy). It’s great to think about the future and work toward lofty goals. However, this kind of thinking sometimes causes people to lose sight of what’s in front of them. How can you make an impact through a conversation with a co-worker? Or by showing up to your child’s basketball game? Or by visiting a lonely neighbor? Or by donating a couple of hours to a soup kitchen?
Your “little l” legacy is just as powerful (if not more) than your “big L” Legacy. All those small actions and interactions add up. You never know how your words, behaviors, kind gestures, or attitude will affect those around you.
This concept of “little l” legacy versus “big L” Legacy is something we explore in Insights® Deeper Discovery. Deeper Discovery is an interactive workshop that utilizes science-based tools to explore participants’ personal paths as they relate to leadership, teams, communication, improved self-understanding, and much more. As a Deeper Discovery facilitator, I have worked with individuals who were experiencing anxiety or frustration because their big L Legacy wasn’t falling into place. They weren’t where they thought they would be at this point in their lives and they were having trouble figuring out which direction to turn next. In other words, they were feeling utterly lost.
Focusing on your little l legacy can help illuminate a path.
If you start to focus on what matters during your day-to-day, you start making the very best of what is currently around you. And that can open opportunities that you might not have noticed when you were busy being distressed about your lack of progress toward your Legacy.
How will you start to shift your focus to making a daily difference? What legacy will you leave tomorrow? Today? In your next conversation? Start making small positive impacts today and see how your world will change.
If you’d like more information on the Insights® Deeper Discovery program, please feel free to reach out and contact me.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: everyday interactions, everyday legacy, Insights Deeper Discovery, little l legacy, Margaret Smith licensed Insights practitioner, Margaret Smith LP of Insights, Margaret Smith Twin Cities, small changes in life and career
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Goals, Insights Discovery
March 1, 2017 The RIGHT Way to Get Angry
Picture this: You’re late to work because traffic was moving at a snail’s pace, which caused other drivers to get irritable and cut you off on the road. When you finally get to work, you find a Post-it note on a stack of papers on your desk that says “Need this by the end of the day.” You grumble about the huge pile of work and decide to make a cup of coffee. When you take your first sip, the coffee burns the roof of your mouth and you end up spitting it out…all over your white shirt.
Have you ever had a day like that? I know I have! How do you react? How can you turn such a disastrous day around?
A big part of the solution rests with you. How you handle the anger that’s undoubtedly bubbling within you can either make or break your day. But that’s easier than it sounds!
When many of us feel angry, we tend to react in one of two equally unhealthy ways:
- Bottle up the anger and hope things will get better.
- Let our anger flow forth and land on everyone and everything around us.
Research shows that neither method is ideal. Bottling up your anger can make it worse and can increase stress and anxiety. Venting your anger, on the other hand, can intensify your feelings and damage relationships with those around you.
So, what can you do?
One way to temporarily cool your jets is to practice steadying your breathing and counting or repeating a mantra in your head. Once you’ve gained control, assess the current situation that’s making you angry and LOOK FOR THE GOOD in it. Even terrible situations have silver linings. Take the story at the beginning of this blog post:
- Even though traffic was slow, you didn’t get in an accident and your car is running just fine
- Even though your boss gave you a pile of work, you are employed and capable. You are a problem-solver and can either figure out how to do the work or talk with your boss and negotiate.
- Even though you burned your mouth and spilled coffee on your shirt, it’s great that you have access to coffee and have the means to purchase a shirt. You’re luckier than many people out there.
See? If you dig into your frustrations, you can find bits of goodness embedded in them.
Another tactic you can utilize is practicing empathy. If other people are causing you to get angry, ask yourself why that might be. Put yourself in their shoes and consider if they are being a pain in the neck because they’re going through a rough patch. It could be that something terrible is happening in their lives that you’re not aware of. Before you combat anger with anger, take a moment to find compassion. Ask questions (if you feel comfortable doing so) and aim for understanding.
You can get a handle on anger. As researcher Albert Ellis said, “You don’t get frustrated because of events, you get frustrated because of your beliefs.” Work on your belief system. Believe that the world is not out to get you. Believe there is always something positive embedded in the negative. Your thinking can change your life.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: anger the right way, conscious anger, controlled anger, empathy at work, good embedded in bad, Margaret Smith UXL, mindful anger, silver lining at work, the right way to get angry, UXL career coaching
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- Posted under Changing Your Life, Communication, Personal Branding, Thrive at Work
February 15, 2017 10 Diplomatic Ways to Say NO
It’s easy to say yes.
“Yes, I can take on that project!”
“Yes, I’ll have that to you by next week!”
“Yes, I’ll add another client to my list!”
While it’s great to be agreeable, there is a limit. When you’re bogged down with commitments and your work-life balance is suffering, it’s time to put on the brakes and start saying no. Do it for your mental and emotional health. Do it in order to be true to yourself (in other words, don’t take on projects that do not align with your skills and interests). Do it to set boundaries and stop others from taking advantage of you.
But do it right.
Below are 10 diplomatic ways to say no. Practice reading them aloud in front of a mirror until they become natural.
“Thank you for the opportunity, but my schedule is packed.”
“I know you would like my help with __________, but I won’t be able to do so unless/until __________.”
“I wish I could, but as a rule I don’t __________.”
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I have other commitments.”
“I’m really not the best fit for __________. Have you tried talking with ? That sounds right up his/her alley.”
“I appreciate you coming to me with this opportunity. Unfortunately, I have too much on my plate right now to take it on.”
“I would like to say yes, but I don’t have time to do this project justice right now.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m only taking on work related to _________ right now.”
“I’d like to help you, but my schedule won’t allow any new projects.”
“Thanks for asking, but I really can’t.
Use these responses to help you take control of your time and schedule. It takes courage, but you’ll thank yourself later if you decide to decline a project that doesn’t align with your values and priorities.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: creatively say no, diplomatic ways to say no, job help minneapolis, Just say no, margaret smith career coach, Minneapolis career coach, reduce stress, saying no, work-life balance
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- Posted under Better Business, Changing Your Life, Communication, Leadership
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