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Category Archives: Changing Your Life

January 8, 2025 Making a Fresh Start (Even When You’re Not Feeling So Fresh!)

It’s here: another new year and another (supposedly) clean slate. This is when people make New Year’s resolutions to hit the gym, eat healthier, limit screen time, and finally learn how to bake sourdough bread. But sometimes, those resolutions fall flat. Sometimes, they feel forced rather than genuine. How can you possibly start fresh when you don’t feel fresh?

You might not be feeling “fresh and new” for a variety of reasons. Maybe some of your troubles and projects from last year have carried over into this year. Maybe you’re dealing with ongoing interpersonal issues, tough family dynamics, or personal health struggles. Whatever the case, it can be difficult to adopt a positive attitude and step into the brand-new year with untarnished hope and energy.

If this sounds like you, I have a few thoughts about how to move past this sticking point—how to make the new year at least feel fresh, even when life is dragging you down. Let’s talk about a few logical steps you can take:

Acknowledge Obstacles Honestly

It is essential to give life’s obstacles and troubles some thought if you want to move beyond them. I suggest setting aside some time to honestly reflect on what is holding you back this year. Is a certain work project keeping you up at night? Are relationships between yourself and a family member or friend tense right now? Are you troubled by national or global issues? Once you recognize what is truly keeping you from starting fresh, you can begin to figure out ways to either overcome these setbacks OR learn to work with them.

Think Big-Picture…

Once you have a good grasp of what is holding you back, it’s a good idea to take a step back and think about the bigger picture. How important is it to overcome the obstacle? Can you overcome it? Or do you need to learn how to carry on, despite some discomfort or anxiety (in which case, it may be wise to chat with a mental health professional)? When looking at the big picture, you can begin to prioritize tackling the most pressing issues and creating strategies for dealing with them.

…But Start Small

Sometimes it can seem completely daunting to deal with a big issue that is holding you back. If that’s how you’re feeling about a certain obstacle, I encourage you to start small. Think about five bite-sized actions you can take to move the needle in a positive direction. These actions could include:

  • Sending an email you’ve been putting off
  • Placing a phone call to a co-worker, friend, or family member
  • Scheduling a meeting
  • Engaging in a half-hour planning or brainstorming session
  • Organizing and prioritizing a stack of papers
  • Adding information to a spreadsheet

What tiny actions could you add to this week’s to-do list?

Seek Support

If you’re feeling less than your best, don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones, a therapist, or other trusted resources for support. Sharing your struggles and aspirations with others can provide valuable perspectives and help you feel less alone as you figure out how to move forward. Far too often, we believe we can (and should) shoulder all of life’s difficulties by ourselves, but that can lead to burnout, frustration, exhaustion, or resentment. I urge you to ask for help if and when you need it.

Though you may not be feeling “daisy fresh” at the start of the new year, it is possible to move forward in a positive and productive manner. Try some of these strategies and do your best to cultivate a positive mindset by practicing gratitude and focusing on the things you can control. Remember: you are not perfect, and no slate is ever truly clean. We can only do our best and use the tools at our disposal.

Here’s to the best new year you can manage, even if it’s not perfect!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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December 18, 2024 When a Change is on the Horizon

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For the past couple of years, I have been toying with the idea of retirement. However, whenever I think my plan is in place and I’m ready to begin heading toward the “off ramp,” I gain a new client or speaking gig, or an exciting new opportunity lands in my inbox. So, I delay a while longer. However, a part of me is realistic about the inevitable path ahead, so I’m taking actions that will help me when this moment of transition comes: I’m observing, listening, and learning from others.

Technically, I retired once already when I left my leadership role at 3M. That time was different, though, because I was still fairly young and had some vague plans for starting a second career—the coaching business that became UXL. This time feels more final.

So, what have I learned from observing and listening to those who have made a leap into retirement? These are a few of my takeaways:

Reframe Your Identity

For many of us, our identity is closely tied to our work. When you meet someone new, it’s common to ask, “What do you do?” Once you retire, that question can seem daunting or even embarrassing. No one wants to say, “Well, I used to be…” You can, however, take ownership of your identity and reframe it. For example, instead of saying “I’m retired,” you could say, “I volunteer at the local animal shelter and am spearheading a project focused on children’s literacy.” This allows you to focus on the activities and interests that are important to you, rather than defining yourself by what you used to do. Embracing a new identity can help you feel more purposeful and engaged in this next chapter of your life.

Find Your Community

When you step away from a workplace, you end up losing an entire group of people that you regularly see. This may leave a gap in your social life, and you might feel like you’re missing something, especially if you regularly interacted with your work team or colleagues. Building a community outside of the office is essential. These could be friends, a book club, a community volunteer group, a church committee, or any type of organization that allows you to connect with others. Finding ways to build new relationships and stay socially engaged can help ease the transition into retirement.

Maintain a Routine

Many retirees find that maintaining a routine is crucial for their well-being. Without the structure of a traditional workday, it’s easy to feel adrift. Establishing a daily or weekly schedule can provide a sense of purpose and help you stay productive. This could include exercising, pursuing hobbies, volunteering, or even scheduling regular social activities. Maintaining a routine can help you feel grounded and prevent boredom or a sense of aimlessness. Additionally, I’ve learned that it’s important to leave room for spontaneity and flexibility, so you don’t feel overly constrained.

Stay Active and Engaged

Keeping your mind and body active is crucial. Retirement is an opportunity to explore new interests and expand your knowledge. Consider taking classes, attending lectures, or pursuing hobbies you’ve always wanted to try. It’s also a good idea to stay in motion, which might mean pursuing an active hobby like hiking, cycling, or swimming. Staying engaged can help prevent boredom, provide opportunities to learn something new, and help you stay active and physically fit.

Embrace Flexibility and Adaptability

As you navigate retirement, be open to embracing change and adapting to new circumstances. Your plans and expectations may evolve over time, and it’s important to remain flexible. Be willing to try new things, explore new possibilities, and adjust your routines as needed. Retirement is a journey, and being adaptable will help you make the most of this new chapter.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, so be patient with yourself as you navigate this transition. With an open mindset and a willingness to try new things, you can create a fulfilling and meaningful retirement that aligns with your values and interests.

These are just a few of my observations and learnings from people who are thriving in retirement. To me, it is mainly important to maintain an open mindset, have patience, and allow your retirement years to take whatever shape they will. Retirement is not a singular destination, but a dynamic journey that evolves over time. Someday in the not-so-distant future, I will embark on this journey too…but not quite yet.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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November 20, 2024 The Complexity of the Human Experience (and Insights Discovery)

As a career coach and Licensed Practitioner of Insights® Discovery, I’ve had the privilege of working with individuals from all walks of life. Through that work (and from life experiences, in general), it is clear to me that each person is a unique and complex tapestry, woven with a multitude of “colors” that make up their personality, interests, and ways of thinking.

We rarely fit neatly into a single box or category. Rather, we are dynamic—constantly evolving and adapting to the circumstances and challenges that life presents. One day, we might feel social and outgoing, and the next, we might find ourselves more quiet and introspective.

This diversity within ourselves is a testament to the richness of the human experience. We are not one-dimensional, but rather a kaleidoscope of traits, strengths, and weaknesses that come together to form the individuals we are.

The Insights® Discovery Program and the Color Wheel

As I’ve discussed in past blog posts, the Insights® Discovery program offers a fascinating perspective on this concept of our “many colors.” This program utilizes a color wheel to help individuals better understand their dominant personality preferences and how they interact with others. If you’re unfamiliar with the program, these are the basics:

  • The color wheel is divided into four main quadrants: Sunshine Yellow, Fiery Red, Earth Green, and Cool Blue.
  • Each quadrant represents a distinct set of personality traits and preferences, from the outgoing and enthusiastic Sunshine Yellow to the analytical and reserved Cool Blue.
  • Most people will find that they “lead” with one or two of these colors, which tend to be the most prominent aspects of their personality.

However, the beauty of the Insights® Discovery program lies in its recognition that we are not limited to a single color or way of being. In fact, the program encourages individuals to explore and embrace the other colors on the wheel, as they can provide valuable insights and strategies for navigating different situations and relationships.

Stepping into the “Other” Colors

Let’s say, for example, that you identify primarily as a Sunshine Yellow. This means that you are likely energetic, charismatic, and thrive in social settings. You may be the life of the party, always ready with a joke or a friendly smile.

But what happens when the circumstances call for a more analytical, reserved approach? Perhaps you’re facing a complex problem at work that requires a deeper level of critical thinking and attention to detail. In these moments, it can be incredibly valuable to step into your “blue” side and tap into your ability to be more introspective and methodical.

Similarly, if you lead with Cool Blue, you may find that embracing your “red” side can help you become more assertive and decisive when the situation demands it. Or if you’re an Earth Green, exploring your “yellow” qualities can allow you to be more spontaneous and open to new experiences.

The Beauty of Embracing Your Whole Palette

The key is to recognize that we are not limited to a single color or way of being. By embracing the full spectrum of our “colors,” we open ourselves to a world of possibilities. We become more adaptable, resilient, and better equipped to navigate the ever-changing landscape of our personal and professional lives.

It’s important to remember that this process of self-discovery and growth is not a linear one. We may find ourselves gravitating towards different colors at different times, and that’s perfectly natural. The goal is to become more aware of the full range of our capabilities and to consciously choose the “color” that best serves us in any given moment.

Celebrating Your Unique Complexity

In the end, the beauty of the human experience lies in its complexity. We are not simple, one-dimensional beings, but rather a tapestry of different “colors” that come together to create the unique individuals we are. By embracing and celebrating this complexity, we can unlock new levels of self-awareness, personal growth, and fulfillment.

Let us embrace our many colors and step into the full spectrum of our potential. For it is in this journey of self-discovery that we find the true richness and beauty of the human experience.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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