Category Archives: Changing Your Life
October 28, 2020 Do Your Body a Favor: Relax.
A version of this blog post was first published in 2016, but the core message resonates today more than ever. Many of my friends and acquaintances are on-edge lately, wondering how the upcoming U.S. presidential election will turn out, and what will happen in its aftermath. All that tension and fretting can definitely lead to negative health effects.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “Stress that’s left unchecked can contribute to many health problems, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity and diabetes.” It can lead to muscle tension, digestion issues, and headaches.
Stress can also affect those around us.
When we’re stressed, we tend to lash out at others more. Or, we disengage and have trouble being present. We tend to get wrapped up in our own tension when we’re stressed and therefore do not give others the full attention and consideration they deserve.
The other thing about stress…it helps nothing and no one. Your stress will not solve problems or inspire positive change. Instead of fixating on your worry or angst, try funneling it into action. A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post on that very subject, if you’d like to check it out.
How can you keep your stress at bay and become more centered, healthy, and positive? Here are a few ideas:
Breathe.
Take time to step away from stressful situations and focus on your breath. It only take a few seconds and it WORKS. If you’d like, download a meditation app on your phone (such as HeadSpace), and let it be your guide.
Exercise.
Go for a long walk, hit the gym, or ask a friend to go to yoga class. Movement gets your blood flowing and reduces stress. It also releases endorphins, which will give you a little boost of happiness.
Step Away.
Unplug from social media, put your phone on airplane mod, and turn off the TV. If bad news and social media spats are stressing you out, it’s a good idea to remove that negative stimuli for a while. Do your best to tune in in small doses–your mental health will thank you!
Treat yourself!
Pamper yourself a little. Plan to take a long bubble bath, ask your partner for a back rub, or schedule a relaxation night filled with movies, a facial mask, and tasty treats. You might also order food from your favorite restaurant and serve it on your nice dishware. Be sure to put your plans on your calendar so they actually happen.
Eat well.
Good nutrition can increase our energy, improve digestion, and reduce headaches. The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine reminds us to avoid high-fat foods (like pizza and mac ‘n’ cheese) when we’re feeling stressed because “they can make us feel lethargic and less able to deal with stress.”
Practice quiet time.
Read a book, knit, bake a pie. Do something that you love and DO NOT feel guilty about taking “you time.”
Invest in yourself.
If your stress reaches serious levels, you may want to consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor to get yourself back on track. Pay attention to how you’re feeling. If this is more than “a little stress,” reach out and seek help immediately.
Your mental and physical health is directly tied to your stress levels. Don’t let the impending election drag you down! Take time to respect yourself and your wellbeing. Doing so will help set you up for success in the months to come.
Here’s to you and your health!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: body and relaxation, combat stress election, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith professional speaker, reduce election stress, relax before election, tips for reducing stress
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October 7, 2020 Using Emotion to Fuel ACTION
It’s been a rollercoaster year and, if you’re like me, you’ve oscillated between feelings of frustration, joy, hope, anger, and sadness. Though it may be easy to fall victim to your negative emotions–to let them pull you into despair–that doesn’t have to be. Instead, you can use those emotions to fuel action.
1. Catch Your Emotions
First, it’s a good idea to pay attention to what you’re feeling and when. What sets off your feelings of frustration? What makes you deeply sad? When do you feel most joyful and at ease?
These are the areas that can inspire action. Lean on these intense feelings of joy/anger/frustration to make positive change.
2. Establish Your Scope of Control
Focus on what you can control and what, potentially, you can change. You may not, for instance, be able to singlehandedly stop the wildfires raging along the Western U.S., but you can donate to organizations that are either fighting the fires OR working on rehabilitating the forests or damaged properties. You can also make an effort to learn about fire prevention and the best practices you can take in your own life.
This is just one example of establishing your scope of control. Focus on the small things you can do to help better a situation, such as donating time or money, volunteering, taking an active role in a local organization, or spreading the word via social media. Small efforts can lead to big change.
3. Learn to Let Go
While you can establish control over some things, it’s useful to recognize that other things are simply out of your hands. You can’t, for instance, change everyone’s mind through social media posts (but you might be able to sway a few people through meaningful one-on-one conversations). You also can’t bring people back from the dead, change the past, or have conversations with people who don’t want to listen.
When it comes to these kinds of things, it’s best to let go. Understand your limitations, and don’t let yourself become frustrated by what you cannot do. Be gentle with yourself and learn to shift your focus to the areas you have power over.
4. Burn Energy
If you’re full of pent-up emotions, you might consider taking action in the physical sense. Go for a bike ride, do video workout, practice yoga, go for a walk–exercise can help to clear your mind and get you into a more positive frame of mind. There’s no harm letting your rage or frustration fuel your workouts. Burn off those harmful emotions, and carry on.
There are many ways to respond to your emotions. Do what works for you–whatever makes you feel the most healthy and productive. And, when you recognize that things are beyond your control, do your best to let go.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: changing negative emotions to positive, emotions into actions, keep it positive, Let emotions fuel action, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith Twin Cities, positivity, scope of control
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August 26, 2020 Is Your Inner Voice Negative Lately?
We all have an inner narrative. It’s the little voice that lives insides us, cheering us on…or telling us we’re not good enough. It’s the voice that says, “Your opinion matters. Speak up!” Or the voice that says, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Keep quiet.”
For many of us, it’s easy to tune into the negative messages—to believe that we’re not smart enough, talented enough, thin enough, strong enough, or capable enough. I call this negative voice your “saboteur.” It’s that weight that hangs around your shoulders, dragging you down and preventing you from rising to your potential. I have found that women, especially, have a constant self-saboteur—a persistent negative narrator that causes us to shrink into the shadows, rather than taking a risk, stepping forward, and speaking out.
Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul, talks about this tendency to talk down to ourselves. He describes the voice as your “negative roommate,” the naysayer that is constantly spouting pessimism. Singer advises us to “monitor the roommate” by externalizing it. Give your inner voice a body and start talking back to it!
For me, the idea of giving your inner voice “a body” is another way of saying, “be mindful of your thoughts.” Monitor them. Start keeping tabs on the narrative you’re telling yourself. This mindfulness is the first step in flipping your negativity around and freeing yourself from your saboteur.
When you catch yourself thinking pessimistically, pause. Refocus. Think of positive outcomes and possibilities instead of focusing on the negative. If your little voice is telling you, “You can’t do it. You will fail during your presentation at today’s meeting.” Tell it, “No, I won’t. I will succeed. I will speak eloquently and clearly; I will keep people engaged.”
Then, repeat. Continue to redirect your inner voice so you’re focusing on positive results. After a while, you’ll find that this redirection will become second-nature. You’ll begin to think of yourself and your abilities in a more positive light.
Grab a hold of your life’s narrative and tell it how to behave! That’s the surest way to boost your confidence, reduce stress, and reject toxic negativity. Start back-talking to the nagging saboteur in your head and discover what a difference it can make in your life and happiness.
Tags: Change your narrative, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, Michael Singer, Negative back talk, negative inner voice, negative life narrative, self-saboteur
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
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