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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Better Business

August 6, 2025 The Courage to Ask for What You Want

As a career coach, I’ve talked with many people who have expressed disappointment about not getting what they wanted in their professions. They didn’t get the raise, the promotion, or the project they wanted. They were passed over for a team leader role or to organize a committee. But when I inquired about whether they asked for these things, I’m usually met with blank stares or questions. “Ask for a raise? I can do that?” Yes, and you should.

Why Ask

In the business world, many of us are either indirect or we assume it isn’t proper to ask for something like a promotion. I agree that this isn’t something to do lightly, and it should be approached with a certain amount of grace and tact, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Managers, supervisors, and C-suite executives are often busy people. They may be in charge of large teams, and they might not be the best at keeping track of their people’s aspirations and abilities. When you ask for something, that gets the attention of your higher-ups. Suddenly, you’re on their radar, and you are seen as someone with initiative and motivation. Additionally, your manager will know exactly what you’re aiming for; they’ll gain a crystal-clear understanding of your aspirations. Those are all compelling reasons to ask for what you want, but how do you do it in a way that doesn’t come across as aggressive or pushy?

How to Ask Tactfully 

When it comes to putting forth what you want from your career, it’s best to have a strategy. Think about what you will say, how you will say it, and the circumstances in which you will deliver your ask. I suggest aiming for the following: 

Choose a One-on-One Setting 

Private meetings are best for big asks. Asking for a raise or a change in roles in front of a group is awkward and tacky, and it puts your team leader on the spot. Instead, plan to give your ask during a one-on-one meeting. If you do not have one set up, request one. 

Work it in Naturally 

To avoid conversational whiplash, do your best to deliver your ask at a natural moment. If you are talking about a current project, you might say: “I’ve actually been thinking about this project a lot and wondering if my performance and results have been enough to earn me a promotion. Would you be open to talking about that?”

Build Your Case 

Enter the conversation armed with relevant information. If you have performed well in a recent initiative, received a positive review, made a measurable contribution, or did something else of note recently, be prepared to talk about it in specific details. Referring back to the example involving a recent project, you might say something like: “I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to review our team project on X, but I’m happy with the results. On an individual level, I came up with a solution that increased customer purchases of Y product by 18%.”

Practice Your Pitch

It can be awkward asking for what you want. To avoid stumbling over your words, try rehearsing what you’d like to say in the mirror or with a partner. Practice until it feels natural. 

Open the Door for Dialogue

When you make your ask, it’s a good idea to present it as something that warrants further discussion. Make it clear that you do not require an immediate answer (no one likes being put on the spot), but also convey that you’d like to talk about the situation in more depth. After you’ve built your case, you could say something like: “Would you be willing to discuss the possibility of a pay raise?” OR: “Given my evolving skill set, are you open to discussing a shift in my role and daily responsibilities?”

Asking for what you want takes courage, but I suggest taking the leap and doing it. Just make sure you properly prepare and approach the ask with as much grace and strategy as possible. Oftentimes in life, we do not get what we do not ask for.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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June 11, 2025 Taking Real (Not Performative) Actions

Photo by Kyle Head from Unsplash.com

Have you ever felt like a person or business was putting on a show for their own gain? They may have made some kind of gesture or action that seemed helpful or kind on the surface, but when you looked a little closer, this act was really self-serving or ingenuine. Maybe it was a CEO apologizing (but not really apologizing) for some kind of misstep. Or maybe a business donated to a certain political party…and also donated to the competing party.

Gestures such as these would likely make you pause, do a double-take, and question the authenticity of the person, group, or business. That’s because there is a huge difference between genuine actions and performative ones. Genuine actions come from the heart. They are meaningful and substantial. And most importantly, they are done without the expectation of public acknowledgment or thanks.

On the other hand, performative or symbolic actions lack substance. Often, they are done publicly, to bolster the image of a person or business. The people or organizations that are supposedly benefitting from the performative action come second—they’re an afterthought. The most important thing is the boost the performer gets, whether that boost is related to image, finances, or ego.

Examples of Performative Actions

One type of performative action is supporting a marginalized group during a specific time of year (Black History Month, Women’s History Month, Hispanic Heritage Month, etc.) for the sole purpose of profiting off that group. Or, perhaps a company sends out a cheery office-wide email recognizing an important issue (Happy Mental Health Month! Here is a list of 10 ways to practice self-care…), but then fails to take any real action to improve that issue (therapy programs, mental health leave, grief counseling, etc.).

Performance could also happen on a smaller scale. The late Pope Francis used the season of Lent as an example, saying that although giving something up (such as meat or chocolate) could be noble, it is more meaningful to do good works or take genuine steps to help others. He suggested fifteen simple “acts of love” as an alternative. These included saying “hello” and “thank you” to others, reminding people how much you love them, celebrating others’ successes, and donating to those in need. These small actions might not get you much credit or external recognition, but that’s not the point. The point is to quietly and authentically make the world a better place.

Choosing Authenticity

How do you make sure you’re acting authentically and not putting on a performance? Or, on a larger scale, how can you make sure your business is acting with genuine motives?

A great test is to think about your purpose or intentions (or the intentions of the business). Are you genuinely concerned about a cause and want to help? Or are you more concerned with how your actions are being perceived? Are you okay with receiving zero recognition for your actions? Or are you hoping for praise and accolades? These questions might warrant some contemplation—time to really sit and honestly consider your intentions.

Keep in mind: People can often see through a performance. If you act genuinely and have the right intentions, that will take you a long way in all aspects of life. It’s all about intention and carrying out that intention in a forthright way.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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April 23, 2025 Help Others to Adapt (by Leveraging Your Strengths)

Photo by Andreea Avramescu on Unsplash

In my last post, I discussed the variety of ways in which people process and cope with change. While change might excite and energize some, others may feel discouraged or frightened by it. This, of course, can depend on what type of change we’re dealing with, and the circumstances around it. It also depends on a person’s personality and ways of processing change.

These concepts can all be tied to Insights® Discovery, a science-based program which helps people become better acquainted with themselves, their personal tendencies, how they react or adapt to certain situations, and more. (See my last post for more information on the program.) Suffice it to say, we all have different methods for dealing with change, and some of that is driven by our personal attributes and inclinations.

No one is flawless when it comes to fielding change. We all have areas of improvement, but we also have areas of strength. To help others cope with change, I’d like to challenge you to think about your personal strengths and how they can be an asset. Let’s discuss some of the strengths you might have:

You’re Research- or Data-Oriented

If you’re the type who likes to have the full, evidence-based picture before proceeding, you can play into this strength to help facilitate change. During times of uncertainty, research and data can assist us by painting a better picture of a situation (whether for better or worse!). And that, in turn, can help people understand how to move forward.

When leaning into this strength, keep in mind that not everyone sees the world as you do, so it’s a good idea to present the data in a way that is easily understood and digestible.

Note: these traits are associated with “blue energy” on the Insights® Discovery color wheel.

You’re a Go-Getter

For some, change is exciting and energizing. It feels like an opportunity to create a new, better reality. Even if a situation may seem negative on the surface, someone with a go-getter personality will want to move forward, experiment, and try out the new normal. While it is often a good idea for gregarious types to slow down, consider repercussions, and examine the data, it is also a good thing to have this type of movement-focused energy.

To help others, it’s prudent to channel some of this energy into concrete actions. Pinpoint a few reasons to get excited about the change and/or discuss a few ways of implementing the change as effortlessly as possible. Alternatively, if a certain change seems wholly terrible, a go-getter will develop strategies to refute or rework the change into something better. In short, let your enthusiasm be contagious and propel positive change.

Note: these traits are associated with “red energy” on the Insights® Discovery color wheel.

You’re Empathetic and Big-Hearted

Some people are defined by being caring and empathetic, often placing others’ wellbeing before their own. These compassionate souls can help either facilitate a change or soften its blow by considering how certain people (or groups of people) will react to or be affected by the change. Since the world (and workplace) is comprised of all types of people with different background and beliefs, it is tremendously valuable to be able to think beyond yourself and put yourself in others’ shoes.

This way of thinking can lead to adapting plans that work for a wide array of people, OR personalizing strategies to cater to certain groups. Perhaps certain aspects of a certain change will work for specific people, while other aspects should be rejected or reconsidered. Whatever the case, those with empathy are well-equipped to lead people-centered actions.

Note: these traits are associated with “green energy” on the Insights® Discovery color wheel.

You’re Creative

Some moments require creative minds and out-of-the-box thinkers to take the lead. These personality types can examine a difficult situation and start thinking of ways to rework it, move around it, or reject it. Creative solutions can help people dealing with a major change OR they can help to reinvent/rethink the change so it works better for more people.

If we pair creative types with those who prefer to lean on evidence and research, we can create a powerful team that, in theory, balances data with innovative solutions.

Note: these traits are associated with “yellow energy” on the Insights® Discovery color wheel.

No matter your personality, you have the capability to help others deal with change. Whether you’re opposed to or supportive of the change, you have the power to navigate it, using your unique strengths and personality traits. Start thinking about your personal attributes as your superpowers!

BONUS: Insights® Discovery provides a chart for the four major personality types (color energies) to manage change. I encourage you to take a look:

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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