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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

September 25, 2024 5 Tips to Be Present

We live in a distracted society. A survey in 2023 found that, “Americans spend an average of four hours looking at their cellphones every day, checking them at least 144 times a day.” That statistic is frankly appalling. Even if it is wildly inaccurate and we decide to divide the findings in half, that still means we spend two hours absorbed in our phones every day, and glance at our screen 72 times. And this doesn’t include all our other distractions—TV, email, video games, and more.

This week, I’d like to talk about being present, why it matters, and how to be more mindful in your everyday life.

(I discussed this topic in a video I produced a while ago. If you’re interested, click here.)

Why Being Present Matters

Your presence matters in both your personal and professional life. Your presence means something to others, whether your family, co-workers, or boss. When you are present, you are able to fully engage with the people and tasks in front of you. This leads to deeper connections, increased productivity, and a greater sense of fulfillment. Conversely, when you are distracted, you miss important details, struggle to be an active listener, and fail to capitalize on your time.

Being present allows you to live in the moment and make the most of each interaction. It is also a sign of respect. When you’re present, you convey that you value the person or task at hand. You are not preoccupied with the past or future, but fully engaged in the moment. This builds trust, strengthens relationships, and helps you be more productive and fulfilled. Ultimately, being present is a skill that takes practice, but the benefits are immense. It allows you to savor life’s moments, connect more deeply with others, and make the most of your time and energy.

5 Ways to Be Present

If you’re hoping to improve your focus and be more present in daily life, I suggest trying some of the following five tips:

Eliminate distractions

When possible, turn off your notifications, silence your phone, and attempt to create a distraction-free environment. This will support your goal of being present.

Practice mindfulness

Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breathing and be fully present in the moment. It’s a good idea to build this into your schedule, so you get into the habit of doing it.

Single-task

Multitasking is usually ineffective and often leads to sloppy or incomplete work. It is much better to lend your full attention to a single task. To do this, try setting a timer and focusing on one specific task for fifteen or twenty minutes. Repeat.

Schedule tech-free time

Set boundaries around when you will and won’t use your devices. For example, you could decide not to use your phone during mealtimes or after a certain time in the evening. Stick to these tech-free periods to be more present with your loved ones or to wind down before bed.

Reflect and recharge

Take regular breaks throughout the day to pause, reflect, and recharge. This could involve a short walk, meditation, or simply sitting quietly for a few minutes. Giving your mind a break will help you return to tasks feeling more focused and present.

Being present and minimizing distractions is crucial for personal and professional success. By making a few intentional changes in your life, you can train your brain to stay focused on the present moment. This will lead to deeper connections, increased productivity, and a greater sense of fulfillment. Remember, being present is a skill that takes practice, but the benefits are well worth the effort. Start implementing these strategies today to make the most of your time and energy.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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September 18, 2024 Developing Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

If you have been following my blog or my business for any length of time, you know that I am a long-time advocate of heart-led leadership. That means being authentic AND having an authentic interest in each of your people. It also means making smart decisions by balancing your head and your heart. Being “heart-led” doesn’t mean you’re weak; it simply means you are empathetic, kind, and willing to listen to your people. This can be viewed as an offshoot of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (sometimes referred to as EQ) is the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and reason with emotions. It involves being self-aware, regulating your own emotions, and empathizing with others. Developing emotional intelligence in the workplace can lead to improved communication, better conflict resolution, and stronger relationships with colleagues. By cultivating emotional intelligence, you can become a more effective leader, foster a positive work environment, and contribute to the overall success of your organization.

Some might believe that emotional intelligence is innate—you’re either born with it or you’re not. While it might be true that some people are more naturally empathetic than others, that doesn’t mean everyone else cannot learn to be emotionally intelligent and develop the qualities associated with a high EQ.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned and improved over time. If you’re hoping to build this essential skill, I suggest starting with the following:

Build Self-Awareness

Emotional intelligence starts with developing a deeper understanding of yourself. What are your tendencies, habits, and perspectives? How do you tend to react stressful situations? What is your communication style, and how do you relate to others?

To help answer these (and other) crucial questions, I suggest taking an assessment test that is rooted in science. As a Licensed Practitioner of Insights Discovery®, I naturally advocate for this system, but many other similar programs exist (Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, Enneagrams, etc.). Briefly, Insights Discovery® is a self-awareness tool that helps you understand your natural preferences, strengths, and potential blind spots, visualizing this data with four distinct colors (learn more on my website). By gaining this self-knowledge, you can better manage your emotions, communicate more effectively, and build stronger relationships with your colleagues.

Additionally, consider keeping a journal to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout the workday. This can provide valuable insights into your emotional patterns and help you identify areas for growth.

Practice Active Listening

An important step in developing your EQ is practicing active listening. When you actively listen, you not only hear the words being said, but you also aim to understand the speaker’s perspective and emotions. This involves maintaining eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. This demonstrates empathy and builds trust with your colleagues, which can lead to more productive conversations and stronger relationships.

Check In with Your Emotions

Emotional intelligence also requires the ability to check in with and manage your own emotions. When you experience strong feelings, whether positive or negative, take a moment to pause and reflect before responding. This can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret. Practice techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling to help you regulate your emotions and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.

Aim For Understanding

Finally, strive to approach interactions with an attitude of understanding rather than judgment. When you encounter a colleague who is behaving in a way that frustrates or upsets you, try to consider their perspective and what might be driving their actions. This empathetic mindset can help you respond with compassion rather than criticism, fostering an environment of mutual respect and trust.

By developing these key emotional intelligence skills, you can become a more effective communicator, problem-solver, and leader within your organization. Those with a high EQ tend to have a better ability to navigate workplace relationships and interactions effectively. This, in turn, can lead to improved collaboration, problem-solving, and overall job satisfaction. Investing in the development of emotional intelligence can be a valuable asset for yourself, your people, and the entire organization.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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September 4, 2024 The Case for Prioritizing Yourself (at least sometimes!)

During the fall season, much attention is given to kids (or grandkids) and to our work. Some of us are ushering kids back to school, sports, and extracurricular activities. Or we’re preparing for the final (often intense) quarter of the work year. And, sometimes we have to do both. That means our already busy lives often become even more hectic. With so many responsibilities and expectations, when can we possibly find time for ourselves? And why is finding that time so important?

It’s easy to neglect our own needs when we’re constantly focused on taking care of others and meeting professional obligations. However, making time for self-care is crucial for our overall well-being. When we prioritize ourselves, even if just for a few moments each day, we’re better equipped to handle the demands of our busy lives. Taking a break to recharge, reflect, or pursue a personal interest can boost your mood, reduce stress, and improve productivity.

Far too often, however, we neglect self-care. We plow through our daily to-do list with hardly a pause or a moment to ourselves. This constant motion and busyness can lead to burnout, increased stress, or even health issues (both physical and mental). I understand why people go-go-go, but the truth is, that breakneck pace isn’t sustainable.

How can we carve out time for ourselves? How can we make self-care part of everyday life? Try these four tips:

Make It a Habit

If you make an intentional effort to incorporate self-care into your everyday routine, it will happen naturally and consistently. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits suggests tacking on a new habit at the end of a routine that has already been established. For example, after you finish brushing your teeth in the morning, you could do a brief, ten-minute mat workout, or read for a few minutes, or simply sit quietly and take a few deep breaths. The key is to attach the new habit to an existing one, so it becomes part of your daily routine. Over time, it will feel strange not to do your self-care activity.

Schedule It

Another approach is to block off time on your calendar for self-care, just as you would for a meeting or appointment. This ensures you actually follow through and take that much-needed break, rather than letting other priorities crowd it out.

Involve Others

If possible, partner with others on self-care activities. Form a book club, schedule regular workouts with others, establish a monthly coffee or dinner date with friends, or practice a favorite hobby with people you know and enjoy. Practicing your self-care with friends helps keep you accountable for actually following through with prioritizing yourself.

Find What Works for You

The most effective self-care activities are the ones that you genuinely enjoy and find replenishing. For some, it might be a relaxing bath or a quiet walk. For others, it might be reading, journaling, or listening to music. Experiment to discover what recharges your batteries and brings you joy. The key is to find activities that align with your personal preferences and needs. Don’t feel obligated to do what others recommend if it doesn’t resonate with you. Self-care is a highly individualized practice, so honor what works best for you.

Carving out time for yourself, even in small increments, can have a profound impact on your overall well-being and ability to show up fully in other areas of your life. As we approach this often busy time of year, I encourage you to establish self-care habits that work for you. Whether it’s a daily meditation, a weekly hike, or a monthly spa day, make your own well-being a priority. Remember, taking care of yourself allows you to better help others and tackle your responsibilities with more energy and focus. Invest in yourself, and you’ll reap the benefits in all areas of your life.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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