Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach
February 3, 2016 Forgiveness Helps Us Grow
Fist image (without text) courtesy of Teerapun at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Every day we are given opportunities to forgive. Whether we’re faced with a driver that cuts us off on the freeway, a rude comment from a coworker, or our own lack of preparation for a work presentation, it is often best to let go and learn from our experiences.
It’s tempting to hold onto anger and sadness as protection—to make sure we never feel a certain way again, or to hold as collateral for an apology. But like the analogy of holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it, we only hurt ourselves when holding onto these negative feelings.
Forgiveness is not forgetting. Practicing forgiveness does not mean you’re a pushover, and it doesn’t mean you accept negative behavior in others. There is a difference between forgiving someone, and opening yourself up to the same hurt in the future.
We can all hope that offenders realize their mistake and feel remorse, but this isn’t always the case. Some people may never apologize, and we’re left harboring ill-will. Forgiveness is for your well being.
Imagine this scenario:
You’re at the office. It’s a busy time of year, and your schedule is packed, but you decide to cut your lunch break short so you can meet with a new client for the first time. You finish your lunch and do some busywork while waiting for her to arrive. Forty-five minutes pass, and you finally see her pull into the parking lot. Right now your breathing is shallow, your fists are clenched and sweaty, your posture is hunched, and you’re angry—angry at her for not respecting your time, angry at yourself for scheduling too much in one day, and suddenly angry at your co-workers for not taking more meetings so you wouldn’t have to. This client may or may not apologize upon entering the room, but you can still practice forgiveness in order to take away a lesson from this experience, while releasing tension and stress.
Forgiveness requires intention and practice, but by lowering stress you are also lowering your chances of a high heart rate, high blood pressure, body aches, depression, and fatigue.
And don’t forget: mistakes are what make us human. Mistakes help us improve: our products, our processes, and our attitudes. Without forgiveness we would still be holding onto hurts from long ago—forgiveness helps us grow.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS®DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: advice from a career coach, career coach Margaret Smith, forgive for your health, forgiveness and a hot coal, forgiveness and growth, forgiveness at work, practice forgiveness
- Leave a comment
- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
January 20, 2016 Keep Curious, Improve Your Life
Curiosity is a…curious thing. It’s a personality trait that is often overlooked. It’s easy to measure intelligence, and there are several tests that can more or less determine your EQ (emotional quotient), but how do you measure curiosity?
Even though it’s not easy to measure, we shouldn’t brush aside curiosity. Various studies have shown that certain personality attributes associated with curiosity are linked to career and life success. Here are a few ways that having a curious personality can bolster your success:
Better Relationships
Curious people are typically good listeners and are great at asking questions. They genuinely want to know about the person sitting across from them and learn about their experiences.
A Happier You
According to Emily Campbell of Berkeley University, research has shown curiosity to be “associated with higher levels of positive emotions, lower levels of anxiety, more satisfaction with life, and greater psychological well-being.”
It Helps You Learn
Curious people ask questions and tend to be more engaged with new material that comes their way. This leads to higher academic achievement, as well as greater learning, engagement, and performance at work.
It Triumphs Over Anxieties
Even if you’re a naturally anxious person, curiosity can help you overcome your fears. By taking a genuine interest in the world around you, you set yourself up to enjoy new experiences, instead of shying away from them.
The overall lesson: DO let your curiosity get the better of you! Don’t be afraid to ask questions, take unexplored paths, and put yourself in the middle of a new experience. Your natural curiosity will help you succeed in the workplace and in your personal life. What would you like to learn today?
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: career coach Margaret Smith, curiosity and happiness, curiosity and life success, curiosity and relationships, curiosity and work success, curiosity positive attribute, Keep curious, Margaret Smith, UXL
January 6, 2016 Finding Your “Wow” Factor
It’s winter. This is the time of year when many of us wish we could morph into a bear and hibernate for a few months. Instead, I propose we use this time to reflect on the past year and consider any changes we might like to make in the future. What is one of the most common desires? A career change.
This move can seem daunting and risky, but the risk can be worth it. Being stuck in a career that doesn’t let you shine is more detrimental to your personal well being than trying something new. It can dim your light and leave you feeling more like that sleepy bear. It doesn’t have to be a complete career overhaul; it can be small steps such as taking on a new project more aligned with your interests.
How to get started? By finding your niche, that “wow” factor that allows you to shine brightly.
Listen to your heart; what did you love to do as a child, when the world seemed full of endless possibilities? Discovering your true self is where you should focus your attention first. Do a personal inventory of your passions and skills and see if you can turn any of those into a rewarding career.
To truly move forward in your endeavors, take note of anything holding you back. Are you anxious about finding people who can help you on your journey? Are you nervous about your lack of experience? Start a journal to get these fears out of your head. To create balance, make a list of the positives, such as more satisfying work, better health or less stress.
Once you have weighed the pros and cons, take action! Researching career possibilities is important, but you will learn more by putting yourself out there. Try to enjoy the process and reach outside of your comfort zone. This will open up more opportunities to ignite your niche.
Don’t hibernate your true passions. Being your authentic self will help you stand out above the rest and lead to a successful career and life!
Check out my blog post next week to learn how to market your niche.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, FOUNDER OF UXL, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE TAG TEAM. YOU CAN VISIT HER WEBSITE AT WWW.YOUEXCELNOW.COM
Tags: authenticity, career coach Margaret Smith, create a wow factor, don't hibernate, finding your wow factor, follow your passions, shine, take career to next level
UXL Blog 