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Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

For many people, this may be one of the strangest holiday seasons yet. Some families may be having a socially-distanced holiday or have decided to quarantine for a couple weeks before meeting. Some have even decided not to meet at all. And even for those who have chosen to gather together for the holidays, things feel…strange.

This is a tense time in our nation, for many reasons. Worry and fear abound in areas of politics, health, and finances. There’s a sense of division and unease among Americans, even among family members. How can we possibly get past all these negative feelings and try to have a somewhat normal, even comforting holiday?

Try a few of the following:

Practice Good Self-Care

If you’re feeling tense, sad, or frustrated, don’t forget to take a step back and take care of yourself. This isn’t avoidance–it is simply allowing yourself space to gain some perspective. When your nerves are frayed, you’re not going to make good decisions and your stress may end up being destructive (to both you and those around you).

Take a long walk, read a book, soak in a hot bath, sleep in–find those quiet moments where you can step away and clear your head. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

Connect Over Food

There are few things that can mend rifts and ease tension than comfort food. This season, make your favorite dishes and share them with others. Even if you’re not meeting in person, you can still share your cooking by dropping off a “just heat it up” dish.

Keep in Touch

There are probably people in your life whom you will not have a chance to see this holiday season. If that’s the case, make an extra effort to reach out. Write them a letter (or several!), send a customized picture postcard, give them a call, or send some flowers. Your efforts will make a difference (and these kind gestures have a way of coming back to you).

Find Commonalities

I have found that even if I am VERY different from the person sitting across the table, I can always find common ground or common interests. If you are spending time with family AND you happen to disagree with them on fundamental issues, that’s okay. Take a deep breath, put on a brave face, and make the best of the situation. Make an effort to find the things that bind you together, rather than tear you apart.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore your values (if someone is belittling or tearing down something that is truly important to you, by all means, speak up!). What it DOES mean is that you can make an effort to build a bridge, if the other person is willing. Find common interests (your kids, baking shows, hiking, etc.) and attempt to see the human side of one another.

Be Kind

Tis the season to be kind. Shovel your neighbor’s sidewalk, donate to local food banks, buy your co-workers thoughtful gifts, smile and say thank you to the over-worked cashier at the checkout. Your small acts of kindness will go a long way toward making the season brighter.

Happy holidays! Wishing you much hope, peace, and comfort this holiday season.


MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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Child fire fighters
Image courtesy of Pixabay.com

When you were young, people probably often asked you the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Now that you HAVE grown up, do you know the answer?

It’s okay if you don’t! It’s completely normal (and healthy) to continuously grow and change throughout the years. As our circumstances and outlook change, we might find ourselves yearning to try something new or walk down a different path. We may feel the need to modify our career aspirations, health goals, or personal ambitions.

Writer Kirra Sherman says, “There is a rich and deep aliveness that comes from following your heart, in acting on what you love despite any limitations or fears of the unknown.

If you sense that it’s time to make a change (no matter how big or small!), I encourage you to quietly sit with that thought for a while.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What is holding me back?
  • What aspects of my life are no longer working for me?
  • What are my big, pie-in-the-sky goals?
  • When I envision my ideal future, what do I see?
  • When I think about the year ahead, how would I like it to go?

Jot down your thoughts–whatever comes to mind. Though they are by no means THE ultimate guide, these questions can help you pinpoint A) What is causing you dissatisfaction in your life right now and B) How you might course-correct and start working toward a better, brighter future.

Of course, these are not light questions by any means. Additionally, you may have difficulty nailing down exactly what is bothering you with your job/lifestyle/habits. If that’s the case, I urge you to get in touch with a career coach (I usually offer a complimentary 30-minute session, if you’d like to see if we’re a good match) or do a little more independent research to help you clarify your path.

It is possible you’ll discover that you feel quite lost and are floundering on where you want to go and who you want to be. If that’s the case, you may want to check out a science-based personal assessment tool such as StrengthsFinder or Insights Discovery. These tools can give you a starting point to begin the next steps in your life journey. Don’t underestimate the power of a little science-based guidance!

If, however, you have a good idea of where you’d like to go and what you’d like to become, it’s time to sit down and strategize. What steps do you need to take to reach your goals? What changes do you need to make? What sacrifices? Should you work with a coach or an accountability partner to help you get there?

As we tiptoe toward the new year, it’s the perfect time to pause and assess your life’s path. If you’re not satisfied with where you’re heading, it’s probably time to make some changes. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. Plenty of coaches, therapists, support communities, and even family members are able and willing to help. Dare to take the first steps to carve out a better future!


MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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work from home

With the COVID pandemic, many of us have had to adjust to working from home (WFH), but unfortunately, not everyone has fallen into a groove. Some people still feel out of sorts or less productive at home than in the workplace. With the pandemic still lingering AND many companies thinking about making WFH a permanent state, it’s a good idea to think about amping up your productivity.

Here are 6 practical Work From Home tips to help you get on track:

1. Find Your Morning Groove

When working from an office, you naturally fall into a morning routine. You get dressed, perhaps make a cup of coffee, and commute to work by car/bike/public transit. With WFH, that comfortable routine gets obliterated. You might wake up later or stay in your pajamas or eat breakfast at odd hours.

This week, commit to following a strict routine. Get up at the same time, eat your meals on a consistent schedule, exercise at a set time during the day. Following a routine can help get your brain in “work mode” right away.

Another helpful tip: Do NOT check your email right away. Instead, tackle the one project that demands the most concentration. Work on it for an hour or 90 minutes, THEN check your email. You’ll find that you’re able to accomplish more during the day when you practice this healthy habit.

2. Get Dressed

Okay, sure. Maybe you DO get dressed in the morning when you work from home, but you probably don’t dress like you do when you go into the office. If you find that you’re feeling less attentive and less productive at home, try dressing in office attire this week. Notice how it makes you feel. Are you more productive? Do you feel more professional?

Dressing for the office can put you in a work mindset and make you feel more in control of your day.

3. Cut Distractions

If you find that you tend to check social media or hop onto YouTube during the day, try installing a browser extension to temporarily block those websites. Search for “block social media,” and you should find many different blocking programs.

If you’re distracted by your surroundings instead (dirty dishes, for instance, or laundry), try keeping yourself on a strict time schedule. For instance: From 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 you can only do work, but between 1:00 and 1:30, you’re allowed to take a short break to tackle a household chore or two.

4. Set Timers

If you’re having trouble concentrating during the day, trying focusing on a single project for a set amount of time. Pick a project, close your email, and set your timer for an hour or 90 minutes. ONLY work on that project. Do NOT multi-task! You might be amazed by how much you can get done when you’re singular in focus.

5. Take Charge of Emails

If you tend to get derailed by emails throughout the day and feel like you’re always trying to stamp out little fires (Urgent request! I need your help with XYZ! Please respond, ASAP!), practice setting healthy email boundaries. Try only checking your email three times per day–once in the morning, once midday, and once toward the end of the day–or even twice per day, if you can get away with it.

Taking charge of your emails can help free up your schedule so you can pay attention to the crucial projects that you have on your plate.

6. Set Your Own Schedule

If you’re feeling disjointed and fed up with all the video meetings, emails, and phone calls that seem to command your day, resolve to take charge of your schedule. If you keep a public e-calendar, be sure to set aside blocks that are strictly YOUR time–time for you to focus on the projects you need to complete.

(For more tips on setting healthy boundaries, take a look at my recent blog post.)

Part of controlling your own schedule means saying NO to certain requests. If you already have too much going on in a given day, don’t be afraid to draw a line in the sand and turn down a request to meet. You can always suggest meeting on a different date.

Developing good habits while you WFH will not only help you successfully navigate working out of your house, but can also assist you when you begin working out of an office. Many of these tips are applicable to work both in and outside of a traditional workplace. It’s all about establishing an effective routine and creating healthy boundaries.


MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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