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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

May 21, 2025 Building Community

Photo by Mourizal Zativa on Unsplash

Practically speaking, we’re more connected than ever. With email, video chats, messaging apps, social media, and more, we’re just a click away from communicating with just about anyone. Why, then, is there so much talk about a nation-wide loneliness epidemic? Why are so many families out of touch with each other? Why are more and more people (from teens to the elderly) feeling isolated? And why do so many people not know their neighbors?

If technology built community, we would be a thriving network of individuals. Instead, many of us sit inside, scrolling through social media and “liking” others’ posts, without making any true connections. It seems we would rather have a million surface-level contacts than sit down with someone and have a conversation. This stark reality is unfortunate, because community is vital, and we need it more than ever.

How to Create Community

There is not, of course, a catch-all answer when it comes to building community. This is something that takes time and looks different in different circumstances. A person’s work community will look different from their community of family and friends, which will look different from their faith, volunteer, or special interest community. We may be more casual or more formal in certain communities. Or, we might feel like some topics are taboo in certain circles. Despite how different our communities can be, I do think some approaches to building community are universal. These include:

Be Genuine

We’ve probably all encountered people who strike us disingenuous or even “fake.” These types of people might be prone to exaggeration, or they might completely change their demeanor when they’re around certain people. While it’s fine to moderate your behavior around certain groups, there’s a big difference between editing your speech and becoming a completely different person. There’s also a difference between being a little more casual/formal in some situations and completely compromising your values. A genuine person will remain steadfast to their values and who they are, at their core.

Reach Out

Building community takes active work and participation. Extend invitations to others, be inclusive, and keep at. Sometimes it takes time for people to warm to you and feel as if they are part of your community. At the same time, if you sense that someone is truly not interested, there are other fish in the sea! Find those who seem interested in a reciprocal relationship—those who are willing to contribute and be a part of something.

Engage

In my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, I devote an entire chapter to Building Community (focused on the workplace). Though this book was published a decade ago and parts of it are outdated (nothing about working remotely, for instance!), much of it is still relevant. In the community chapter, I discuss forming an authentic, respectful relationship with others by asking good questions and truly listening to the responses. The book puts forth a challenge related to this on page 119: “Test your listening skills. Challenge yourself to remember three important details from every conversation you have this week. Jot down those details immediately and then try to recall them two or three hours later. Can you do it?”

The purpose of this exercise is to 1) test your listening skills (are you truly paying attention?) and 2) help you learn something new about those around you. Healthy communities involve respectful and reciprocal relationships. It’s important to learn about each other, so we know how best to support and interact with one another.

If you’re feeling the isolation of our modern, social-media-dominated world, I suggest having the courage to put yourself out there, extend invitations to others, and start engaging in meaningful conversations. These are great first steps, but keep in mind: building community takes time and effort. If you genuinely care about your fellow community members, you will periodically check in with them and offer them support. And, if you surround yourself with caring and authentic individuals, they will do the same for you.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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May 7, 2025 Your Actions Matter (even if you don’t realize it)

Photo by Linus Nylund on Unsplash

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”
– Mother Teresa

In these tumultuous times, when everything seems to be changing at lightning speed, it is easy to feel like a very small fish in a very big pond. Politics, technology, the economy—it all seems so chaotic and beyond our control. Additionally, when we turn on the news or log onto social media, we’re often blasted with the latest problems and scandals of the day, which can send us down a rabbit hole of bad news and hot takes.

With so much going on—so many changes and so much chaos—it is easy to become discouraged, overwhelmed, or even depressed. What can one person do against such large forces? How can one voice or one action possibly make a difference? Take heart! It’s possible your actions matter more than you think.

The Ripple Effect

When you throw a rock into a pond, it sends out ripples that change the surface of the water. This is a common metaphor that illustrates how one small action can make a world of difference. Every decision you’ve ever made has had some kind of effect, whether the decision was small (choosing to drive a certain route, deciding to say hi to a grocery clerk, etc.) or large (deciding if (and where) to go to college, choosing who to marry, etc.).

These choices can impact you, those around you, and even people you’ve never met. For example, if you choose to be kind to a grocery clerk, that person might brighten up a bit and say something nice to another customer, who, in turn, might leave a generous tip at dinner that evening, potentially helping out a server who needs a little extra money to care for her sick child. That chain of events might sound far-fetched, but things like this happen every day. Our actions ripple out in ways we will never fully know.

In other words, your decisions matter! Because of that, I encourage you to stop feeling small and start taking intentional actions, knowing that they can (and do) make a difference.

Focus on Small Actions

Although most of us are not equipped to singlehandedly influence large systems or the “powers that be,” we can make an impact through small, meaningful actions. Your actions might be directed toward any of the following:

  • Community (getting to know your neighbors better, helping someone with their yardwork)
  • Family (taking time to be present, scheduling a family trip)
  • Workplace (setting clear boundaries, asking for help when you need it, standing up for a co-worker)
  • Politics (attending a protest, making a phone call)
  • The Environment (picking up trash, planting a bee-friendly garden)
  • …the list goes on!

Your everyday actions matter. Even if you cannot see their full impact, just know that every decision you make (no matter how small) can potentially create a positive or negative influence. Because of that, it’s a good idea to move mindfully through the world, choosing to act with kindness, patience, and understanding. It does make a difference.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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April 9, 2025 How Your Personality Type Adapts to Change

Photo by Ambreen Hasan on Unsplash

We are living through a time of major change. No matter your location, job industry (or job status), political leanings, or background, you have likely been affected by all the change that is underway. Maybe you (or someone you know) were part of the recent mass layoffs, maybe you’ve simply noticed the prices of certain items changing, or perhaps you’ve observed relationships changing due to recent political tension. Whatever the case, you have likely felt the ripple effect of change, whether subtle or severe.

Since we are all “built differently,” we deal with change in different ways. Our brains process information differently, and our bodies react in varying ways (a faster heartrate, clenching up, preparing to either fight or flee, etc.). One of the best ways to cope with change is to become familiar with your personal tendencies—the ways in which you typically react when confronted with change.

As a Licensed Practitioner of Insights® Discovery, I know how helpful it is to develop a deep understanding of yourself, your personality, your strengths and flaws, and the way you respond in certain situations. The Insights® Discovery program defines people by four distinct “color energies.” Each of the four colors is connected to a certain set of personality traits and tendencies. Because humans are multi-dimensional, we all have the capacity to embody all four colors, but we tend to embrace one or two more often that the others. The chart below shows some of the basic characteristics of each color energy. Which one(s) do you find yourself identifying with most?

NOTE: This was a very basic introduction to Insights® Discovery. If you are interested in diving deeper, you can contact me or explore the topic on my website.

Insights® Discovery and Change

When you’ve developed an understanding of yourself, your personal attributes, and how you approach difficult situations, you can begin to understand how you’re predisposed to coping with change.

Someone who leads with blue energy may feel overwhelmed by a lack of information or clarity. They may think that things are accelerating too quickly, and it is necessary to pump the brakes and think critically before proceeding.

Someone who identifies with red energy may cope well with fast-moving change, but they may also get frustrated with a lack of clarity or end goals.

A person leading with green energy might automatically think about the implications the change will have on others. This could either energize them, or leave them feeling disheartened (depending on how the change impacts other people).

Those leading with yellow energy may start thinking creatively about where the change could lead, and how it could affect others. They may feel compelled to talk over the change with other people to make sense of it.

These potential reactions are generalizations, of course, but they give us an idea of how varied a person’s response can be to change. When facilitating the Insights® program, I have found that people respond to change with varying degrees of:

  • Adaptability
  • Eagerness or energy
  • Resilience
  • Creativity
  • Compassion or empathy
  • Skepticism
  • Vision or big-picture thinking

Not only are we all very different, we can even take on different attitudes day-by-day, depending on our state of mind, the circumstances, the support of others, etc. In other words, we are dynamic and our reactions to change or difficult circumstances can change. And that’s okay! There is no single “right way” to react to change.

Lastly, please refer to the infographic from Insights® Discovery below. This image conveys how each color energy can make change work for them (through research, establishing clear goals, considering others, etc.). If you’re finding yourself having difficulties grappling with a certain change, consider using this chart as a guide.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

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