Skip to content

UXL Blog

“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

July 14, 2021 The Case for Taking a Break

A few weeks ago, I spent some time with family on the East Coast. We had a few responsibilities and appointments, but in between our little tasks, we laughed, relaxed, swapped stories, and generally enjoyed each other’s company. Stepping away from my responsibilities in Minnesota gave me a little perspective. Suddenly, my list of house projects seemed less important. My coaching work and other responsibilities were less urgent. What mattered most was family and being present for one another.

That’s what happens when you take a break. You allow yourself the space, time, and peace to reflect and gain perspective. You might start to realize what’s truly important in life. You might remember what truly makes you happy.

Taking a break is good for your mental and physical health as well. I’ve read numerous articles on how taking a meaningful break can rejuvenate your body and improve concentration and motivation. One study by a professor at the Wharton School of Business found that when people spent more time on family, community, and self, “their career satisfaction increased by 21% and their work performance (self-assessed) improved by 8%. Happiness with family life grew even more.”

That’s because we’re not meant to work 60 or 70 hours per week. If we go, go, go, chances are, our batteries will quickly become drained and we’ll end up working harder instead of smarter.

That’s why I advocate for taking a break. Make it meaningful. Make it a real break, and not just a “working remotely” situation. Step away from your laptop, your email, your responsibilities. Go somewhere without wi-fi or cell phone reception if you have to! Just take a break. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

Tags: , , , , ,

June 23, 2021 Naming and Facing Your “Failures”

broken watermelon on floor

NOTE: This post was originally published in July, 2018

No one wants to focus on failure. This kind of thinking is not fun, it drags you down, and it reminds you of your imperfections. While that’s true (and it’s certainly not great to dwell on screw-ups), there is POWER in acknowledging your failures and calling them out by name.

What do I mean by that?

Instead of either A) ignoring a failure and pretending it didn’t happen OR B) letting yourself be consumed by the failure, reflect on it and write about it. This exercise could be utilized for any setback or misstep you experience, big or small.

ALSO, make sure you jot down a note about what you learned from your failure or a strategy to avoid that specific error in the future.

Here are a few examples:

Failure: Not preparing for the company meeting
Main Lesson: I need to set aside half an hour before future meetings to prepare for them.
Action Steps: I will set a notification in my e-calendar whenever I schedule a meeting to help me remember to prepare.

Failure: Missing too many of my daughter’s basketball games
Main Lesson: She won’t be young forever. I need to do a better job of balancing family life with work.
Action Steps: I will schedule her games into my calendar and set them as a top priority. If I can’t make a particular game, I will schedule one-on-one time with her during the subsequent week.

Failure: Sticking with an ill-suited job for too long
Main Lesson: I need to pay attention to my inner GPS and know when I’m experiencing discontentment with my work.
Action Steps: If I start to feel like my job isn’t working out, I will immediately take steps to figure out the best course of action, such as taking time for deep reflection or consulting a career coach.

Calling out your failures is powerful. According to Stanford researcher and author, Tina Seelig, keeping a kind of “failure résumé” helps you to compartmentalize your mistakes and avoid them in the future.

Your failure résumé should be a living document—add to it whenever you have learned a life lesson, whether significant or minor. Writing down something as simple as “Don’t send out an ‘emergency email’ to my supervisor on a Friday” or “Don’t offer Karen coffee—she doesn’t drink it,” can help you avoid the everyday, minor mistakes that we tend to make.

Isn’t it time to wrangle your mistakes and keep them somewhere, rather than tripping over them? I think so. Calling them out won’t make your future mistake-free, but it will help you avoid making the same mistake twice.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.

Tags: , , , , ,

June 16, 2021 The Case for Acting NOW

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now.”

Chinese proverb

What have you been meaning to do that you’ve put off?

Think about that question for a minute. I’ll wait.

You might have multiple things you’re putting off.

You might even want to make a list…

Have you thought of a thing (or seven) you’ve been putting off? Why do you suppose you haven’t acted? What’s holding you back?

It’s human nature to put off what is uncomfortable or potentially difficult. Why have a tough conversation if you don’t have to? Why clean the attic if you can ignore it? Why start writing your memoir when you could be spending the evening relaxing on the couch?

We also tend to put things off that seem low-priority. Cleaning the desk in my office? I can put it off. Joining the gym? That can wait until next month.

Another reason we might put something off is if we think it will eventually take care of itself. If you meant to apologize to a friend for missing her party, you might put it off and put it off until…everyone has forgotten about it, right?

Another example: If you’re part of a team at work and you don’t feel like tackling a certain aspect of your project, you could put if off until someone else caves and does it for you.

As you’ve read through all these scenarios, you may have noticed something they have in common:

They are all problematic or potentially problematic.

If we put off a difficult conversation, the current situation might continue to get worse.

If we continue to delay working on a special project, that project will never be completed.

If we fail to clean the work desk, items will inevitably continue piling up until we can’t find anything, we feel completely scattered, and we lose valuable time and productivity searching for items we need.

If we don’t apologize for a past wrong, we risk creating a misunderstanding or losing a friend. Plus, it’s an opportunity to clear the air and acknowledge the mistake.

If we delay acting because we think someone else will eventually cover for us, that’s a recipe for creating grudges! Others will view you in a poor light and think you’re lazy or irresponsible when, really, you might have averted the crisis by expressing your discomfort with the task and requesting a new assignment.

Even though acting NOW might be uncomfortable or inconvenient sometimes, it is almost always worth it. If you’re putting something off, take a step back and ask yourself WHY. What barriers do you perceive? What’s holding you back? If you’re worried about the outcome of a particularly tricky task/conversation/action, that’s okay. It’s normal to delay action in the face of worry. But you’re stronger than that. It’s time to break through the barriers that are holding you back and ACT.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: , , , , , ,