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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

October 27, 2021 Introverts: 4 Ways to Stay Connected

With cold weather right around the corner for many of us, it’s tempting for introverts to give in to their natural instincts and simply spend the next several months in near-hibernation. While that may sound like heaven to some, it could also lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Most introverts need occasional human interaction (even a warm smile or a thoughtful note) to feel connected or help them through tough times. But…they may not seek it when they need it, or even know how to seek it. What to do? As an introvert, how can you comfortably seek companionship or human connection when you need it?

Try these four suggestions:

Dare to ask

Instead of waiting around, hoping someone will invite you to coffee or an event, take initiative and be the one to extend an invitation. If you’re asking an old friend, this may not be a big deal, but if you’re asking someone you don’t know terribly well, an invitation can feel downright daunting. Accept the vulnerability that comes with asking others to do something, and don’t be deterred if they say no. Either aim for a different date on the calendar or ask someone else.

To ease into asking someone to hang out, you could attend a meet-up with mutual friends or see if someone else is willing to arrange a get together (a spouse or a close friend) that involves meeting a couple new people.

Put parameters on interactions

If you know that long interactions with others can be draining for you, try setting a time limit on get togethers. When you invite someone out for coffee, for instance, frame your invitation like this: “I can meet from 9 a.m. to 10:30. Does that work for you, too?” No need to offer an explanation—just provide the parameters.

Alternatively, you could engage in an activity that has built-in time limits. Go to a movie, watch a play, or engage in a couple rounds of mini golf. When the activity is over, you can naturally part ways.

Seek comfortable settings

To put yourself at ease, hang out with new acquaintances in familiar settings. Suggest meeting at your favorite coffee shop or lunch spot, visiting a local book shop, or even meeting in your home (if that seems appropriate). When you’re in a familiar locale, that removes one more “question mark” from the interaction.

Seek anonymous hangouts

Not every group activity involves talking with strangers or mingling with a crowd. Activities such as yoga, community education classes, going to the movies, or visiting a museum allow you to be around others while you comfortably blend into the crowd. You might invite a friend to attend one of these outings with you, or you could choose to go solo.

Being introverted doesn’t necessarily doom you to a long, lonely string of months when the weather turns chilly. Aim for casual interactions in comfortable locales, and dare to be a tad vulnerable. These small interactions will help scratch your itch for human interactions when you need them most.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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October 20, 2021 Keeping Energized Over Winter Months

In many parts of the northern hemisphere, winter is right around the corner. While some people enjoy the cold weather and relish the thought of hot cocoa and sweaters, others dread the winter months and see this period as a time of isolation and darkness. Whether you love or loathe winter (or fall somewhere in the middle), it’s probable you occasionally struggle with maintaining a high energy level during a time when days are shorter and we’re more prone to staying indoors for long stretches of time.

How to deal with the inevitable lack of energy? Here are 4 ideas:

1. Find a winter buddy

Maintaining human connections can be enormously helpful when you’re trudging through the winter months. Find a friend (or multiple!) who also has trouble staying energized during winter and plan small outings together. Visit a conservatory (a warm reprieve during chilly weather!), grab a cup of coffee, see a movie, or walk laps at a local mall. These small moments of personal contact can make a big difference.

You might also consider joining a local club or social group (painting, knitting, storytelling, books, volunteering, etc.). Find these groups through Meetup.com or by simply asking about them on social media (Facebook or Nextdoor are great places to start).

2. Reward yourself

If you find yourself with little energy and a full workload, try breaking up your work into small pieces and bribing yourself with a series of mini rewards. For instance, if you have five items you need to accomplish on a given day, reward yourself after each item. Rewards might include reading for 10-15 minutes, working on a crossword puzzle, eating a piece of chocolate or other treat, or playing an online game or browsing social media for 15 minutes. To keep yourself on track, set timers for both your work (to motivate you) and your breaks (to make sure your break isn’t too long). 

3. Exercise regularly

Though it may sound counterintuitive, exercise is one of the best ways to combat low energy. Moving your body not only gets the blood flowing, but also releases mood-boosting endorphins. If the idea of going for a winter walk or hitting the gym feels daunting, start by simply putting on your workout clothing and shoes. This act, alone, can get you in the right mindset and carry you into your workout. Additionally, it’s a good idea to find something you enjoy doing, whether that’s swimming, lifting weights, walking, or doing group yoga or pilates sessions.

4. Take Vitamin D and use SAD lamps

A lack of sunshine can have a very real psychological effect. According to Healthline, “Decreased sun exposure has been associated with a drop in your serotonin levels, which can lead to major depression with seasonal pattern.” To help overcome the lack of sunlight, try regularly taking Vitamin D (which is associated with exposure to sunlight) or purchase a SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) lamp. A SAD lamp produces the kind of light that mimics sunshine and can help elevate your mood.

There are many different ways to ease winter woes and improve your energy. Make a plan, try different approaches, and see what works for you. If all else fails, seek help from a certified professional to help you through the cold, dark months.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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October 6, 2021 6 Ways to Deal with Burnout

You’re feeling exhausted or lethargic. Work, and life in general, holds little interest for you. You dread checking your email in the morning. You’d rather stay in bed than get up to face the day. Perhaps you’ve picked up unhealthy habits to cope with stress, irritation, or low productivity.

These are all signs of burnout.

Though burnout has always been an issue in the workplace, its presence has dramatically increased over the past couple of years. In an international survey, 90% of participants believed that their work lives were getting worse, and 60% were experiencing frequent burnout. Those figures are troubling, to say the least!

Burnout can feel heavy or stressful. It can dim your usual joy. How can you cope with such a troubling emotion? Try these 6 approaches*…

*If you’re coping with something more than burnout, please seek consultation from a licensed therapist or other mental health professional.

1. Pinpoint the source

It’s difficult to deal with burnout if you don’t fully understand the cause. “Work” might be too general to blame on burnout (maybe you love or enjoy certain aspects of your job). Whenever you’re starting to feel anxious, stressed, or exhausted, think about why that is. Do you feel this way whenever you need to check in with a certain co-worker or superior? Does a certain task make you feel drained? Pinpointing the source of your burnout can help you figure out solutions.

2. Know your limits

For many people, burnout occurs when we take on too much work or when we agree to do things that are well outside our abilities or scope of interest. When you’re overloaded or you’re asked to do something outlandish, say no. It is possible to decline with grace (more HERE), and offer other potential solutions for the task at hand.

For example: “This assignment is well outside my skillset. Have you considered approaching Beth about it?”

Or: “I have a full plate right now and adding one more thing is simply not feasible. Can we push this back to next month or shuffle around some of my other assignments?”

3. Create healthy boundaries

With so many people working out of a home office, it can be easy to blur the lines between work and home. Commit to only working or answering emails within a certain time frame. Stick to a routine and do your best to separate your professional world from your private one. You might even get dressed for work in the morning and go on a walk as a kind of “commute.” Whatever it takes to get in the work zone!

4. Take a meaningful break

At times, we simply need to step away from work for a while and take a break. See if you can get away for at least a couple of weeks to rest up and rejuvenate. Make the break a meaningful one. Don’t answer calls or check work emails. If finances are a constraint, take a “staycation” and practice your version of self-care (reading, catching up on sleep, painting, mountain biking…).

5. Unwind with a hobby

One way to combat burnout is to pick up an after-work hobby. You might choose to do something calm and relaxing (yoga, cooking classes, photography) or something energizing and invigorating (spin classes, training your dog in agility). Your meaningful hobby can be a kind of oasis—a getaway that you can regularly look forward to.

6. Simplify

Ask yourself: Is there any part of my life that I can simplify? Is there any task I can cut out or assign to someone else?

At work, look for ways to make your day more efficient. Could information be conveyed through a simple phone call, rather than a back-and-forth email chain? Are you reporting the same information to different people, when you could loop everyone in with a single Zoom meeting? Is there anything that makes sense to delegate to someone else?

In your personal life, is there anything you can hire out to someone else (lawn work, cleaning, car repair, meal prep)? Is there anything you can cut out?

Burnout is an epidemic, and it’s time we all dealt with it. There are certain steps you can take on your own (the above list is only the tip of the iceberg), but burnout is also something that should be considered at an organizational level. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk with superiors about ways to prevent employee burnout. If you’d like ideas on how to frame such a conversation, send me a note.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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