Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach
April 13, 2022 The Courage to Ask for What You Want

With the release of my new eBook (A Quick Guide to Courage), I’m writing a series of blog posts about courage this month. Enjoy!
Not long ago, I met with a coaching client who was pretty sure she was going to lose her job. Her company had been losing business lately, and they were beginning to lay people off at all levels of the organization. She was fairly high up on the company’s org chart, but she knew cuts were being made in her department. So, she began preparing for the worst.
As part of her preparations, we talked about leveraging her severance package. Leaving a company can feel awkward, and many people are tempted to scoot out the door as quickly as possible!
However, it is actually the perfect time to be bold in your negotiations.
After all, what do you have to lose?
My coaching client and I talked about five things she could ask for in her severance package, including funds for outplacement coaching, healthcare benefits for several months, and a payout for her accumulated paid time off (PTO). We roleplayed the scenario, and my client was able to practice her asks.
Even though this is an intimidating and uncomfortable situation for many people, preparation and practice can help boost your confidence and give you that extra shot of courage you might need. To me, preparation is one of the most important aspects of the 5 P’s of Courage, since it can help you anticipate possible scenarios and consider ways to deal with them.
Another way to boost your confidence in a nerve-wracking situation such as this one is to come up with a positive, affirming mantra and repeat it to yourself whenever you’re feeling timid or unsure of yourself.
This mantra should be short and empowering, such as:
- I am worthy and deserve respect.
- My ideas are important and my thoughts are valuable.
- I deserve a place at the table.
- I am strong, confident, and my voice will be heard.
You could also ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen?” I address this question in a recent blog post (read more about it HERE), and encourage people to use their imaginations to picture both the worst-case and best-case scenarios. Then, think about the scenario that is most likely, which will probably land somewhere in the middle of worst-case and best-case.
Not long after I worked with my client on her severance package asks, another person approached me with a similar situation…except she had already been presented with a severance package and had not negotiated the terms. She had been too shocked and unprepared to do so. This upset her, because she knew she deserved a better package than what her company had offered.
I asked her, “Why don’t you call up the leadership team and ask to renegotiate?”
“I couldn’t,” she said. “What’s done is done.”
“Maybe so, but maybe not,” I said. “What’s the worst that could happen if you picked up the phone and simply asked?”
Reluctantly, she agreed that nothing catastrophic would happen by asking for what she wanted. After going over the items she wanted to add to the severance package, she made her phone call. And, guess what? Her company agreed to her requests!
Through preparation and reframing the situation (What’s the worst that could happen?), she had the courage to ask for what she wanted. And you can do the same.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: courage to act, courage to ask for what you want, courage tough conversations, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith LP of Insights, negotiate severance package
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Communication
April 6, 2022 A Month of Courage (plus, my new eBook!)
Do you have days when you’re feeling timid or unworthy? Are there times when you’re afraid to participate in a certain meeting or take a certain action? Do you occasionally feel like you’re the only one in the room that doesn’t “get it,” while everyone else is coasting along with ease?
Believe me, you are worthy, your input is valuable, and you deserve to be in the room alongside everyone else. The problem isn’t you, it’s your courage.
Courage comes in many forms. It takes guts to ask for a raise or negotiate a severance package. It takes self-assuredness to lead a team project, give a major presentation, or engage in a difficult conversation. Courage can mean many different things, and has largely to do with mindset (yes, it is possible to train yourself to take on this mindset!)
Many of us suffer from self-consciousness or a lack of courage. We’re our own harshest critics. Whenever I deliver a presentation or workshop on my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, I usually ask about the leadership attributes the people in the room would like to work on. One of the most common areas of improvement is courage.
Because of this widespread desire to become more courageous, I decided to compile the decades of information and techniques I’ve acquired into an eBook: A Quick Guide to Courage. This eBook is an easy read—46 pages filled with illustrations and activities—but it’s packed with information. It also includes links to others resources, such as my video on the 5 Ps of Courage.
To celebrate the launch of this book, I’m declaring April “Courage Month!” This month, all my blog posts will be dedicated to an aspect of courage. I’m also offering my book at a special discounted price.
Let’s celebrate courage this month, and carry that courage with us into the year ahead!
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: Career Coach Advice, courage goals, courageous leadership, free ebook, Margaret Smith life coach, month of courage, UXL courage ebook
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Goals
March 16, 2022 4 Ways to Create Calm

Almost everyone experiences periods of heightened anxiety or frustration. Those periods might last a few minutes, or they could endure much longer. If you’re dealing with a situation that is causing increased stress, it’s never a good idea to ignore your feelings and hope that everything will get better. Instead, focus on ways to reduce your personal stress AND remove or diminish the sources of stress.
NOTE: If you’re experiencing long-term or severe anxiety, it’s best to seek help from a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. Your mental health is important and can affect nearly every aspect of your life.
So, how do you deal with short-term stress or anxiety? Here are 4 methods to try.
1. Practice a breathing technique
Breathing with intention is a great way to create a sense of calm and ease tension. You could practice yoga-style breathing, where you inhale deeply while focusing on expanding your lungs and belly, and then release your breath and let your diaphragm contract. Or, you could practice something neuroscientist Andrew Huberman calls a “physiological sigh.” Essentially, you inhale through your nose and hold your breath for a few seconds. Then, inhale again before releasing it and hold for a few more seconds. After that, exhale through your mouth in one strong puff. Learn how this breathing technique helps you in Dr. Huberman’s short video.
2. Remove yourself from the situation
Sometimes, the easiest and most effective way to calm your nerves is to remove yourself from the anxiety-inducing situation. That might mean excusing yourself from a team meeting or Zoom call, or stepping away from your laptop for a few minutes. Giving yourself distance can help you to collect your thoughts, take a few deep breaths, and plan how you’ll proceed.
3. Identify sources of stress
Is there something in your life that is repeatedly causing you stress? Maybe you’re involved in too many committees or volunteer groups. Maybe you tend to agree to projects, even when your plate is full. Or, perhaps, your source of stress is a person—a boss or co-worker who tends to email you at odd hours, overload your agenda with work, or make poor decisions for the company or your work team.
Whatever the case, it’s useful to trace back your stress to the source(s). Once you have a clear idea of what’s causing most of the tension in your work life, you can take steps to change it.
4. Set healthy boundaries
One way to take charge of your stressors is to set healthy boundaries. Set parameters for when and how often you’ll answer emails, phone calls, or virtual chat requests. Say “no” to projects when you have too much on your plate or when projects are not a good fit (click the link for 10 effective ways to say no). If someone is causing you undue stress, have the courage to meet with that person and communicate your frustrations. Be tactful and make suggestions on how to improve the situation.
You can take charge of workplace stress. Take time to consider your stressors, create a plan, and act! And when life gets frustrating, don’t be afraid to dismiss yourself from the situation, breath, go for a walk, or even read a few pages in a book—whatever it takes to reduce your stress and calm your nerves. Work should not be a place of constant stress.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: calm workplace anxiety, create calm at work, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith licensed Insights practitioner, reduce stress at work, stressful work situations
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Thrive at Work


