Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach
July 6, 2022 4 Ways to Keep a Sense of Humor

It’s no secret that our nation (and world) is going through some tough times right now. We are dealing with deep political divides, spiking violent crimes, wildfires and other natural disasters, and a pandemic that doesn’t seem to quit. Though these events are no laughing matter, it doesn’t mean you have to give up your humor entirely. The opposite is true, in fact. Humor has the power to uplift us and carry us through our days, no matter how grim things seem.
Psychology Today reports that, “Science shows that dwelling on worry, disappointment, and loss only increases unpleasant feelings. What you focus on expands.” That’s absolutely true. If you dwell on difficulties, you’ll find yourself being sucked in and overwhelmed by them. If, on the other hand, you choose to divert your attention to life’s little bright spots and humorous moments, you will be better equipped to trek through tough times.
Additionally, when your attitude is better and you’re feeling better, you will be in a healthier frame of mind to problem solve (and potentially work toward a solution for some of life’s troubles). Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously, says, “Studies show [laughter] makes us more resilient, creative and resourceful.”
How can you incorporate a good dose of humor in your day? Try these 4 methods:
Look for the funny side
Maybe the cat walked across your keyboard and switched off an important Zoom meeting. Perhaps your briefcase broke and you were forced to walk into a meeting carry all your things in a plastic bag. Or your young child found some scissors and decided to give themselves a haircut.
All of these moments might be stressful or embarrassing in the short-term, but when we look at them in retrospect, we tend to laugh. When we have a terrible day or experience an awful stroke of luck, look for the bits of humor that bubble up. And, if you can’t find any humor, at least look for ways to be grateful (that car may have sideswiped me, but at least I’m not hurt; I’m sick, but at least I have the means to pay for healthcare). Gratitude can be just as powerful as humor.
Seek out comedy
Instead of turning on another true crime episode or a drama show, seek out a comedy show or movie, or watch a bit of standup. You could also try out a humorous podcast while you’re at the gym or pick up a funny book to read.
Intentionally incorporating bits of humor into your life can make you feel a little lighter and improve your mood. Use comedy entertainment as a way to escape and to fortify yourself to face upcoming difficulties.
Don’t take yourself too seriously
Too often, we take ourselves too seriously. Life would take on a different tone if we learned to laugh at silly mistakes, if we didn’t feel the need to constantly prove ourselves, and if we put things into perspective. If your brain blanks out during a team meeting, it’s not the end of the world! Laugh about for a moment, and move on.
Find a humor partner
Laughter is better when shared. Go to a comedy show with a friend, watch a funny movie with your significant other, or swap funny social media posts with your sister. Find bits of humor and pass them on. Together, we can bring some levity to the world and, hopefully, become better equipped to face life’s difficult moments.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: better sense of humor, funny moments difficult times, humor for difficult times, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Minneapolis career coach, ways to keep a sense of humor, ways to stay joyful
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Thrive at Work
May 18, 2022 Why Foster Community?

That old saying “no man is an island” still rings true today. We are all connected with others in myriad ways, and we all depend on a large network of people to do our work, enjoy life, and, frankly, to survive. The CEO of a company might receive most of the fame and recognition, but that person’s success is intrinsically linked to others—their mid-level managers, the company custodians, the IT support team, the customers who believed in the company and its offerings.
This interconnectedness extends to our personal lives as well. We rely on the farmer to harvest food, the construction crew to repair our roads, the teacher to educate our children. I often see this community and interconnectedness at play with my grandson. He and his parents rely on care from a network of people. It truly “takes a village” to raise a child.
It’s hard to overemphasize the importance of community.
A strong community offers support, resources, and guidance. It not only provides us with necessities, but uplifts us and motivates us to keep going.
Today, we might find a sense of community and belonging in a variety of places—through work, family, online forums, volunteering. However, while it’s possible to be more interconnected than ever before, people are now lonelier and more depressed than ever. In the U.S., loneliness has been steadily increasing since 2015 (especially among younger generations), and that trend has been noted across the globe, as well.
Why is that? Why is our highly networked world lonely?
From my observations and research, I believe this has to do with the quality of our connections, rather than the quantity. One of your Twitters posts might be liked by 5,000 people, but do you really know any of them? You might engage in a webinar with 200 other individuals, but are you really talking to each other and getting to know one another on a deeper level?
At this point, you may be wondering, “So what? Why does it matter if people are lonely?”
Aside from the mental and emotion toll loneliness can cause, it has been linked to many physical side effects such as an “increased risk of mental health issues, heart disease and even death.” The Campaign to End Loneliness reports that, “Research shows that the impact of poor social relationships on mortality is comparable to the impact of smoking 15 cigarettes a day and consuming alcohol, and exceeds the impact of physical activity and obesity. Lonely individuals are at higher risk of hypertension, poor sleep, and the onset of disability.
So, what do we do?
I challenge you to seek out meaningful, real-world connections. Get to know your neighbors, host a barbeque, volunteer in your community, join an in-person networking or hobby group. If you are already connected with a number of other people, I challenge you to strengthen those connections by making an effort to be in touch, sending the occasional greeting card, or arranging a lunch or coffee date. You can also go the extra mile by reaching out to those who you suspect to be socially isolated (elderly friends, those who have limited access to reliable transportation, new parents!) and offer your support.
Community is created through conscious connections, not just through liking someone’s social media post in passing. It’s made by asking others about themselves and reciprocating by opening up and being a little vulnerable. Let’s dare to strike up conversations and make connections! Let’s strive to consciously foster community.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: benefits of community, Building Community, fostering community, loneliness epidemic and community, Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith Twin Cities, why foster community
May 4, 2022 Instead of Happiness Culture, Let’s Emphasize “Usefulness” Culture

It’s great to be happy. It’s wonderful to feel joy and hope. But does our society overemphasize these feelings? Judging by the plethora of self-help books, escapism social media, and online “happiness hacks,” that seems to be the case. Some sources have even called happiness a “cultural obsession.”
That may not seem like a bad thing on the surface, but it can have some unintended consequences. For one, if we’re constantly focused on obtaining happiness, we may not be fully present. We’re so focused on our happiness dreams, that we forget to appreciate what we have. As behavior expert Patrick Wanis says, “We place our happiness somewhere off in the future and therefore we’re never able to enjoy where we are now because we’re always thinking we’re only going to be happy when we get to be, do, or have something.”
Additionally, the expectation to be happy all the time is frankly unrealistic. We might logically know that our friends and acquaintances are not happy at all hours of the day—their lives are not flawless and worry-free—but that doesn’t stop us from viewing them that way. We constantly see pictures on Instagram or Facebook of happy, smiling people drinking cocktails, taking vacations, posing with their families, cooking perfect dishes, and we wonder why we don’t stack up. Why isn’t my life that happy? What am I doing wrong?
This is how obtaining happiness can become more of an obsession than a healthy pursuit. But what if we were to shift our focus so that happiness isn’t the end goal, but rather a fortunate side effect? That’s where “usefulness” comes into play.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
When we make ourselves useful through daily work, volunteerism, helping others, donating our dollars or time, etc., we de-emphasize happiness. We shift the focus from ourselves to others. That’s not to say self-care isn’t important (it is! And I’ve talked about that in several blogs posts), but focusing on others and living a purpose-driven life is just as important.
And, guess what? You’ll likely feel happiness anyway!
Doing your best work, volunteering, or caring for a sick friend can all be satisfying in their own way. Even though your end goal isn’t happiness, it’s a fortunate side effect that often accompanies living within your purpose or doing good deeds.
As a nation, it may do us all a lot of good to stop obsessing over happiness and start emphasizing usefulness. What might life look like if we dared to follow this pursuit?
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
Her new eBook is called A Quick Guide to Courage
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: be useful, happiness obsession, happiness self-help culture, Margaret Smith licensed Insights practitioner, Margaret Smith life coach, usefulness and happiness, usefulness culture
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life

