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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

November 9, 2022 The Case for Connecting with Old Friends

If I asked you to picture some friends you haven’t talked to in a while, could you think of a few people? Maybe several? These could be work colleagues, friends from college (or even high school), or friends you made during a certain period of your life—maybe another parent who was also involved in Little League or a school play. As life goes on, we inevitably connect with others…and often let those connections slip.

Is there anyone you’d like to reconnect with? Someone you think about often and wonder how they’re doing?

If so, I encourage you to reach out! According to research described in Daniel Pink’s short video, reconnecting is NOT as awkward as you might think!

Studies show that when you send a message or call someone with whom you haven’t spoken in some time, that person often appreciates the effort. It’s usually not awkward; it’s a nice surprise! The person will be flattered that you thought to contact them, and you just might make someone’s day.

Another reason to reach out: Far more adults are lonelier than you might realize. An incredible 35 percent of adults aged 45 and older, and 43 percent of adults aged 60 and older, report feeling lonely on a regular basis. If you feel like meeting with someone for coffee, your invitation might be very welcome, or even much-needed.

Reconnecting with old friends is also a low-stakes way to let others know you care. Even if you don’t end up getting together in person, the fact that you’re communicating online or over the phone is something. It is a thread that helps strengthen and maintain your relationship—and you never know when you may need each other (for professional guidance, personal support, or as a bridge to another person).

So, if you’re debating about whether or not to call your old college roommate, send an email to a favorite former co-worker, or mail a birthday card to an old friend, debate no longer! Set aside any reservations, and just do it. Unless your relationship ended horribly, there is very little risk involved in reaching out. And you never know—you just might reestablish a friendship.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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October 12, 2022 The 5-Minute Anti-Procrastination Technique

When you’re faced with a task that you’d rather not do, procrastination is the easiest thing in the world. You suddenly find a thousand ways to keep busy that are not the task at hand. You might clean out your email spam folder, work on a low-priority project, browse social media, or do the dishes/laundry/dusting (if you work from home). We’ve all been there!

It can be extremely difficult to overcome the mental barriers we tend to put up for ourselves. We see the undesirable task as a 20-foot wall, and we know it will take a huge amount of effort to even begin climbing.

What to do?

One method you could try is a simple 5-minute technique for combatting procrastination. This method involves confronting the task and saying to yourself, “Okay, I’m going to do it for just five minutes. That’s all I’m obligated to do right now.”

Then, you get started.

The reason this very easy method works is because we can do just about anything for five minutes. Whether you’re tackling a tedious task, writing an email you’d rather not send, calling a difficult client, or writing the first sentence of a very long report, five minutes is doable.

And, here’s the thing: Once you get started, you might find yourself spending 10, 15, or 20 minutes (or more!) on the assignment. The key is getting started. This is the same mentality as putting on your gym clothes to motivate yourself to work out. Getting dressed and lacing up your shoes is a huge part of the battle. You’re starting your engine, you’re making an effort, and hopefully these small initial actions will give you the momentum you need to get going and follow through on the rest of your task.

The “just five minutes” approach will also help you become less intimidated by large projects. There’s no pressure to do everything right now. You just have to get started and begin chipping away at it. This is a great approach to goal-setting, in general. It’s easy to become intimidated by large projects or lofty objectives, but if you break them down into bite-sized pieces, set goals for reaching those mile markers, and keep chipping away (and occasionally rewarding yourself for progress!), you’ll eventually reach your goal. As they say, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

The next time you’re feeling burnt out, stressed, or reluctant to work on a particular project, try the five-minute technique. Set aside this time, commit to do nothing else but the work (no checking your phone!), and dive in. Setting a timer could work for some, but it might feel like a “hard stopping point” for others (which could stifle momentum).

Adapt the technique in a way that works for you, and get started! You might be surprised by how much you can accomplish in five minutes–and how that five-minute push was just the thing to drive you forward.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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September 14, 2022 What is the Difference Between a Coach and a Trainer?

Let’s say you are a company leader who is trying to help their team work together more cohesively and improve communication. Who would you call? Would you search for a trainer? A coach? Someone else entirely?

Though they may sound similar, a coach and a trainer usually perform very different functions. Confusion sometimes arises because people often use these terms interchangeably. However, they are distinct, and a trainer can not necessarily perform the same functions as a coach (and vice versa).

What, then, is the difference between a coach and a trainer?

In most cases, a trainer will work with a team on a specific skill, program, or technique. Training usually has a specific, prescribed program which doesn’t vary much from team to team. Training could only last a few hours (a “lunch and learn,” for instance) or could be performed over several days or weeks.

Coaching, on the other hand, is usually less focused on a specific skill or program, and more focused on outcomes. Want to improve motivation? Or create a more cohesive work team? Or help your people clarify their professional paths? A coach is probably the right choice.

Coaches may be subject matter experts in a certain area (interpersonal communication, self-discovery/awareness, women work teams, etc.), but they can usually adjust their material to fit the specific needs of the group. If they discover that the group really needs to build their confidence before focusing on interpersonal communication, they might focus on that area of improvement first.

When I’m working with work teams as a Licensed Practitioner of Insights® Discovery, I will consider the group member’s personal profiles to determine how best to work with the team. If I discover, for instance, that the group leads with a lot of “red energy,” that may mean I’m working with several strong personalities who may clash at times. If I’m working with a primarily “blue energy” group, that likely means they are data- and process-driven, and will respond well to a data-centric approach. (To learn more about what I’m talking about, please visit this blog post.)

Another example: When I’m giving a “Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge” workshop, I will run through an activity that helps identify which leadership attributes are strongest in the group, and which could use some work. I’ll then put most of my focus on the areas of improvement.

Both trainers and coaches have merit. Depending on the needs of your work team, you may need to hire one or the other. Keep in mind, individual trainers and coaches may toe the line between these two areas, taking a somewhat hybrid approach. It’s always best to do your research and, preferably, talk to past clients before making a decision about whether to hire a trainer or coach.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE

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