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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

January 25, 2023 Earning Respect Starts with Respecting YOURSELF

Have you ever been in a room with someone who commanded respect? They spoke in a self-assured way, and held themselves with confidence. When this person said something, people listened and took their ideas seriously. They seemed to be the very embodiment of confidence.

That self-assured person was probably able to command the respect of others because they respected themselves. When you show yourself a bit of self-love and appreciation, you demonstrate that you’re worthy of respect.

In short, respect starts with YOU. Before you can earn respect from other people, you need to learn to respect yourself. Respect is about understanding your own worth and appreciating your own values. This doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Everyone has flaws, but the way you handle those flaws clearly demonstrates whether you respect yourself or not.

An insecure or anxious person will dwell on their personal faults, but a person who respects themselves will simply acknowledge their shortcomings (if necessary) and move on.

To start building personal respect, try any or all of the following 6 steps:

1. Start improving your self-esteem.

Take some time to recognize your good qualities and accomplishments. Think of how capable you are of achieving your goals, and how you can use your strengths to benefit yourself and others.

Once you’ve built up your self-respect, you can work on expressing it outwardly. Speak positively about yourself and show gratitude for the successes and accomplishments you’ve achieved. Be proud of who you are!

2. Know your limits.

Respect yourself by recognizing your limitations and being honest about your capabilities. If you know you don’t have the time or capacity to take on a project, say “no.” If you’re tired of answering emails after hours, draw a line in the sand and stick to your policy. (Read more about setting healthy boundaries.)

3. Seek meaningful relationships.

Prioritize relationships that are supportive, positive, and beneficial. Respect yourself by rejecting interactions that don’t serve you emotionally.

4. Find your own happiness.

People who respect themselves don’t rely on the approval of others. Instead, they seek out their own sources of happiness and satisfaction. Define your own values and work to live according to them.

5. Make healthy choices.

Respect yourself by making choices that are in your best interest. You don’t always have to say “yes” to be liked, and you don’t have to please everyone. Reject things that aren’t in alignment with your objectives, values, or vision.

6. Forgive your mistakes.

Nobody’s perfect, and that’s okay! Respect yourself by not getting too bogged down by mistakes or failures. An essential part of respecting yourself is being kind to your mistakes and being willing to learn from them.

In conclusion, respect starts with YOU. Show yourself respect, and others will follow suit. Learn to accept yourself, practice self-love, and set boundaries that protect your own well-being. When you start to respect yourself, others will take notice and show you the same respect in turn.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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January 4, 2023 Harness the Power of Positivity this New Year

There’s something about new beginnings. They tend to fill us with hope, energize us, and drive us to make positive changes (whether minor or major). The new year is the perfect time for a fresh start and a new outlook. Whether you’re trying to set goals for yourself, making positive life changes, or simply attempting to start the year off on the right foot, committing to the new year with an optimistic outlook is the perfect way to stay motivated.

The truth is, it’s easy to be dragged down by negativity or everyday annoyances (a flat tire, a poorly timed illness, a co-worker that can’t seem to turn in their assignments on time).

But it’s important to remember that dwelling on the bad can exacerbate your problems and pull you into a negative downward spiral. Marque Medical reports that people with high levels of negativity are “more likely to suffer from degenerative brain diseases, cardiovascular problems, digestive issues, and recover from sickness much slower than those with a positive mindset.” That, alone, should be reason to adopt an optimistic attitude!

Another reason to practice positivity is tied directly to productivity and performance. Those who see the glass half full tend to perform better in their jobs and in life, in general. Amazingly, this applies to companies as well. Companies that tend to be more optimistic have been found to be more productive.

How to Adapt a Positive Outlook?

Committing to the new year with a positive outlook means keeping your attitude in check, recognizing that one setback doesn’t define failure, and understanding that you will go through seasons of success and adversity. It also means being aware of your thoughts and prioritizing positivity by actively looking for the good in each situation.

Use the new year to set yourself up for success and become more optimistic. Here are a few tips to help you do that:

1. Identify your biggest fears and insecurities and make a plan for how you can address and conquer them.

2. Make time to do something that you enjoy thoroughly—take a walk, go to the gym, paint, bake cookies.

3. Look for something to be grateful for every single day, like strong relationships, career opportunities, or simply your own health.

4. Practice self-care and positive affirmations. Remind yourself that you are capable and strong.

5. Look for opportunities to learn from failures and mistakes—and use them as growth moments.

6. Focus on solutions rather than problems.

Starting the new year with a positive outlook can be a challenging, but rewarding, undertaking. It requires dedication, self-awareness, and actively looking for the good in every situation. By embracing these steps and striving for optimism, you can better equip yourself for a successful year, both personally and professionally. Positivity often brings with it greater productivity, improved relationships, and even improved physical health. So, what are you waiting for? It’s time to kick off the new year with a renewed sense of optimism!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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December 28, 2022 4 Factors That Interrupt Relaxation

Happy holidays! Many people try to relax during this time of year—perhaps attending holiday gatherings or taking a vacation. But many of us struggle with truly relaxing. Modern life has a way of moving quickly…even when you’re trying to slow down.

According to the Center for Integrated Healthcare, there are numerous benefits of deep relaxation. These include reduced anxiety, improved sleep, better concentration, and even improved digestion. But how do you get into a state of relaxation when so many things are vying for your time and attention?

This week, let’s talk about 4 factors that tend to derail relaxation, and how to prevent them from doing so.

1. Notifications

Picture this: You’ve settled in at the dinner table and you’re about to eat a relaxing, homecooked meal with your family. Then, your phone dings and you see that someone has commented on a picture you posted on Instagram. You start dishing up your plate, but your phone dings again. This time, it’s giving you an update on your favorite sports team. Ding! You have a Twitter notification. Ding! An eBook on your wish list is on sale.

Before you know it, your mind is caught up in all the activity on your phone. You’re distracted, and your family dinner no longer feels relaxing. You want to hurry up and get through it so you can attend to all these notifications.

Few things clamor for our attention like our phones. The average person will pick up their phone 58 times per day. It’s clear phones have us on a tight leash!

To combat the pressure to always pick up your phone, try some of the following tactics:

  • Turn off app notifications
  • Periodically put your phone in airplane mode
  • Use an app to track screen time (this will help put things in perspective!)

2. Emails

For many of us, emails take up a large portion of the day. We see an email come in, and we’re immediately pressured to respond. Even if we choose to ignore an email for a while, we know it’s there, hanging out in the back of our minds.

I urge you to set healthy boundaries by taking control of your email. You might choose to only check and reply to email 2-3 times per day. Or you can set a firm “cut off” point (say 5:30 p.m.) where you mute your inbox and step away from emails.

3. Poor Sleep

It’s tough to feel fully relaxed if you’re lacking in the sleep department. Unfortunately, many of us struggle with catching enough zzz’s, and that can make everything more difficult. You can’t be the best version of yourself if you’re running on four hours of sleep and an abundance of caffeine.

To practice good sleep hygiene, try the following best practices:

  • Shut off all screens one hour before bedtime
  • If you’re using screens at night, use blue-light filtering glasses
  • Limit alcohol intake
  • Don’t eat immediately before bedtime
  • Remove screens (like TVs) from your bedroom
  • Invest in a good pillow that fits your sleep style (side, back, etc.)

4. Over-Planning

If you’ve over-planned a holiday, it can be difficult to find the relaxation amidst the bustle. You might end up feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation! (See my past blog post on planning a relaxing vacation.)

If you can’t help your planning tendencies, try adding downtime into your schedule of events. Though it may seem strange, it can be immensely helpful to set aside “do nothing” time. This will essentially give you permission to relax, unwind, and go with the flow. You can fill this space if you want, but there’s no pressure to be up and about, doing things. Instead, grab a book, play a game, take a walk, or simply enjoy being present.

Even in our busy, distraction-filled lives, it is possible to relax. Take control of your schedule (and your phone!), don’t over-plan, and focus on being present. You’ve earned it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 

HER NEW EBOOK IS CALLED A QUICK GUIDE TO COURAGE.

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