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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

July 5, 2023 5 Ways to Manage Negativity and Build a Positive Outlook

Image by Anastasia Borisova from Pixabay

It is well-known in psychology that people tend to remember and cling to negative experiences more intensely than positive ones. That tendency is called negativity bias, and it can color the way we see the world. Instead of paying attention to the half-dozen positive comments after a presentation, we’re more likely to dwell on the one person who said they didn’t resonate with the material. Instead of recalling past experiences of success, we focus on the failures. To make matters worse, we are often inundated with bad news from the news, social media, and other sources.

Strategies for Overcoming Negativity

How can we overcome all this negativity in our lives? Try any or all of the following five practices:

Practice Gratitude

Believe it or not, gratitude is a state of mind you can practice and adapt with a little time and effort (it is not necessarily innate or intuitive!). Every day, write down three things for which you are grateful. These don’t have to be big things; they could be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee or having a supportive friend. Focusing on what is going well in your life can help shift your thoughts away from negativity.

Embrace Failure

Failure is a natural part of life. Things are not going to go perfectly at all times (wouldn’t life be boring if they did?), so it’s better to face failures head on and strategize how to overcome them, rather than letting them completely derail you. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or perceived failures, use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Reflect on what went wrong and how you can improve in the future. Remember, the most innovative companies, such as Google and Apple, are not afraid of making mistakes and missteps on their journey to produce something cutting edge and new.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

The people you surround yourself with and the media you consume can have a big impact on your mindset. Seek friends and colleagues who have a positive outlook, are supportive, don’t say nasty things about others, and who encourage you in your endeavors. In terms of media, it’s a good idea to limit your social media and news time, AND edit who/what shows up on your news feed. This doesn’t mean you’re tuning out the world; you’re simply limiting your exposure to media that can often feel “doom and gloom.”

Talk Back to Your Gremlins

Does it sometimes feel like you have a gremlin that invades your thoughts and tells you things like: “you can’t,” “you’re not good enough,” “no one will listen to your thoughts,” or “you shouldn’t even be in this meeting.” I call this “gremlin” your saboteur—the negative soundtrack that runs through your mind and belittles your abilities. It’s time to start talking back! Pay attention to your negative thoughts, acknowledge them, and work on reframing them into more positive, constructive thoughts.

Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally is essential for building a positive mindset. Make time for activities that you enjoy, get adequate sleep, eat well, and prioritize your mental health. It’s much easier to maintain a positive mindset when you’re feeling refreshed, healthy, and energized (see my post on 5-minute self-care ideas).

Building a positive mindset is a powerful tool for overcoming negativity and improving your quality of life. The five strategies outlined above can help you shift your thought patterns and approach life with a more optimistic outlook. It may take time and effort, but the benefits are worth it. Don’t let negativity bias control your life—take charge of your thoughts and embrace the positive.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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May 17, 2023 How to Beat Summertime Procrastination: 6 Tips

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

As we tiptoe into summer in the Upper Midwest, it can become increasingly difficult to concentrate. Who wants to be stuck inside staring at a screen when the weather is mild and sunny? Who wants to enter information into a spreadsheet when you could be riding your bike, barbequing with your family, or simply taking a walk in the fresh air? The procrastination bug can bite hard when you’re resistant to the tasks in front of you! To help beat summertime procrastination, try any or all of the following 6 tips:

1. Take a midday break

Taking a midday break is a great way to recharge your brain and get moving. Take a 30-minute break to go for a walk, ride your bike, or simply sit outside with a good book or cup of tea and enjoy the sunshine. Getting outside can boost your mood and energy, making it easier to focus when you return to work.

2. Work during off-hours

If you’re finding it difficult to concentrate during the day, try working during off-hours. Wake up early and work before the sun rises, or work in the evening when you’re not as tempted to go outside. This way, you can take advantage of the sunshine during the day (at least for a few hours) without feeling guilty for not working.

3. Break tasks into smaller pieces

Breaking tasks into smaller pieces can help make them feel more manageable. Instead of trying to finish a big project in one day, break it into smaller tasks that you can complete over a few days. This way, you’ll feel more accomplished and less overwhelmed.

4. Set a timer

Setting a timer can help you stay focused and avoid distractions. Set a timer for 25 minutes and work on a task without any interruptions. Once the timer goes off, take a 5-minute break to stretch, grab a snack, or check your phone. Repeat this process until you finish the task. Remember, there’s really no such thing as multitasking! Focusing on one project at a time is a better use of your time AND produces better results.

5. Create a summer schedule

Creating a schedule can help you stay on track and make time for both work and play. Set aside specific times each day for work, exercise, and leisure activities. This way, you’ll have a clear idea of what you need to do each day and won’t feel guilty when you take time off to enjoy the summer weather.

6. Find an accountability partner

Having an accountability partner can help you stay motivated and on track. Find someone who shares your goals or is working on a similar project and check in with each other regularly. This way, you can hold each other accountable and offer support and encouragement along the way.

By trying these 6 tips, you can beat summertime procrastination and make the most of your summer. Remember, it’s important to take breaks, stay motivated, and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts. Happy (almost) summer!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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April 26, 2023 Feeling Stuck? Here’s how to make that big decision

Photo by Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash

Have you ever found yourself at a turning point when you’ve had to make a decision? Maybe that decision was major (switching career paths, moving to a new city) or maybe it was less major but still important (deciding who to invite to a gathering, considering whether to take on a project). Whatever the case, making decisions can be difficult.

When it comes time to choose, we might freeze up and not know which way to turn. Sometimes we end up sticking firmly within our comfort zone, because we’re too nervous to take the plunge and commit to a new course of action.

To get out of a decision-making rut, try tapping into one or more different proven methods to make the best choice possible. Here are five techniques to try:

Map Out Possibilities

When you feel overwhelmed by choice, it can be helpful to create a visual representation of all your options. Mind maps are a great tool for this, as they allow you to see the paths before you in an organized and comprehensive manner. A pros and cons list is another useful tool for sorting out your thoughts and getting an organized view of your options.

Learn how to create an effective mind map by taking look at my past blog post on the topic.

Ask “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?”

When you plan for the worst-case scenario, you can worry less about making a mistake and start to realize that most of the time the consequences of a poor decision are not as dire as you might fear. Ask yourself, “What is the absolute worst outcome?”, and you will be more likely to act with confidence and a clear mind. Additionally, you’ll be better able to prepare for future “What ifs” if you consider possible adverse outcomes.

I’ve written more about this concept in my “How Bad Could It Be?” blog post.

Use the “Best Friend Test”

Before making an important decision, ask yourself, “What would I tell my best friend to do in this scenario?” This is a test author Daniel Pink recommends in a short, informative video. He says that asking this question is effective because it changes the perspective of the scenario. You certainly wouldn’t want to lead your best friend astray, so the advice you give to them should apply to yourself as well.

Journal About It

Writing is a process of self-discovery, and writing about your decision-making process can offer valuable insight into what you truly want. Keep a running log of your thoughts, feelings, and ideas about the issue at hand and explore different angles.

Get Support

When facing a difficult decision, sometimes it helps to turn to a few trusted advisors for input. Ask one or two people you trust for advice, but be careful not to get “advice overload” where you ask too many people about a topic. As with all advice, take these suggestions with a grain of salt.

Making a decision can be hard, but by tapping into different methods and taking a mindful approach, it’s possible to make the best choice. Taking the time to use these techniques can help you gain clarity and make the best choice for yourself.

Good luck and happy decision making!

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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