Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach
December 17, 2025 On Human Connections
As the year draws to a close, and I glide down my “off ramp” toward retirement, I’ve found myself in a reflective and nostalgic mood. One of the things I’ve thought about as I’ve eased into retirement from leading UXL is how much things have changed…and how much they have not.
Though we live in a world that is now dominated by Zoom meetings and hybrid office hours, many of the same principles I wrote about in my book, The Ten-Minute Leadership Challenge, are still relevant. Courage, for example, is still an attribute that many of us need to amplify. And community is just as important (if not more important) as ever. One thing, in particular, that hasn’t changed during the 16+ years I’ve run UXL is the need and the power of human connection.
With so many of us working remotely, or living an “online life” through social media, entertainment, and/or AI, it sometimes feels like human connection is hard to find. We might react to someone’s post on social media, but is that really a connection? Or, we might attend a one-hour online workshop, but did we really form meaningful connections with the other participants?
I have noticed a distinct difference between the in-person workshops I’ve delivered over the years and the online ones. During the in-person workshops, we mixed and mingled. We talked to each other organically. We laughed and responded to each other’s body language. But during the online workshops, everything felt measured and a little stiff. We couldn’t respond as naturally to each other’s emotions and body language, and some people even had their cameras off. While I respect that choice in certain situations, this does make it difficult for the presenter and participants to react and bounce off each other in a natural way.
Additionally, after these workshops, I noticed that people often followed up and sometimes kept in touch for YEARS after an in-person session. That was never the case for virtual workshops. I have yet to hear from a single participant.
These observations have made me more convinced than ever that in-person, genuine human interactions are incredibly valuable and can be very meaningful. The same level of intimacy and authenticity is difficult to achieve (in my experience) in online settings.
During the holidays this year, I encourage you to put a little distance between yourself and your screens. Engage with your family and friends, put yourself out in the community, and aim for meaningful interactions. Instead of switching on the TV at night or falling into your phone, strike up a conversation with your significant other or ask if anyone wants to play a board game. Instead of (or in addition to) clicking “donate,” offer your time and your hands by volunteering in the community. These types of very human interactions can make a world of difference to both you and the people you touch.
Though so much has changed in the world since I started my business 16+ years ago, the acute need for authentic human interaction has remained the same. This holiday season, nourish your soul, uplift others, and form meaningful bonds through taking the time to simply be human in an offline world.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
Tags: essential human connections, living offline, margaret smith leadership, Margaret Smith life coach, on human connection, turn off screens
November 5, 2025 Stop Waiting for Permission
Are you waiting for a “sign” to take that next big step or shift your life in a new direction? Have you been hoping your boss will give you a promotion? Or the go-ahead to pursue an exciting new project? Or maybe you’re waiting for circumstances to be “just right” before acting.
Unfortunately, you might be waiting a very long time for “that thing” to materialize. Instead, I encourage you to stop waiting for permission and just go for it. Take the leap.
Trained to Wait
Many of us have grown accustomed to waiting for permission. As school kids, we had to ask permission for everything—from going to the bathroom to using craft supplies during break. In the office, we might need to ask permission for a budget increase, implementing a new marketing strategy, or focusing on an out-of-the-box area. Many initiatives need multiple people to give their stamps of approval before they can go forward.
We have become used to waiting and hoping things will move forward.
But if we apply this mentality to ourselves, we might simply stall out or become stagnant. The promotion might never come, the dream project might pass us by, we might remain stuck on a path that isn’t quite right for us. Sometimes, we have to be the ones to power our own engines and light our own paths. We can’t count on someone else to do it for us.
Taking a Leap
Just “going for it” can sometimes be scary. As a career coach, I’ve talked with many people who wanted to pursue an entirely different career path, but they were frozen with fear. What if they failed? What if they didn’t end up liking the new path? Or had to take a temporary pay cut? With so many doubts, their inclination was often to wait “until the time was right.” But, guess what? The time was never “right.” They could always point to some obstacle or inconvenience that held them back.
Rather than change their circumstances, they mainly had to change their perspectives. They had to realize that no one was going to come to them and say, “You now have permission to switch career paths.” They had to be the ones taking the initiative and, eventually, taking the leap.
That didn’t mean they couldn’t prepare for the leap. Just the opposite, in fact. Once they decided they would, indeed, make the change they had been waiting to make, they could take steps to facilitate it. That might mean saving extra money, taking classes, or learning a new skill. They were actively working toward making the change, rather than waiting for permission to do so.
Going For It
What are you waiting on in your life? Are you hoping to introduce an exciting initiative to your company? Do you want to shift your responsibilities at work? Learn how to paint? Travel to a new country? Change careers? Hike the Camino trail in Spain? Get a raise or a title change?
No matter your ambitions, it’s important to realize that opportunities rarely land in one’s lap. Instead of waiting for someone to give you permission, ACT. Instead of hoping change will happen, FACILITATE that change. Believe that your future is in your hands, and go for it. The timing will never be perfect, so why not start now?
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
Tags: don't wait for the right time, go for your dreams, margaret smith career coach, Margaret Smith life coach, stop waiting for permission, take the leap
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Changing Your Life, Goals
October 22, 2025 Why Open Yourself to Others’ Perspectives?
As we grow older, we might get wiser…or we might become more set in our ways! Sometimes, our openness and curiosity diminish, and we find ourselves with set preferences and perspectives. That can lead to shutting down others or making snap judgments about another’s ideas, behaviors, or points of view. And we might not even realize we’re doing it.
The Harm in Rigid Thinking
Being set in your ways limits you. You close yourself off to whole worlds of thinking, and you erroneously believe that your way is the “only” way or the “right” way. This can be damaging in any office setting, no matter the industry. And this can be doubly damaging if you are in a leadership position (either formally or as an informal team leader). Companies can never reach their full potential if ideas and perspectives are limited. Creativity and innovation is how you open new doors, reach new markets, and stay relevant.
Companies and leaders that live by “it’s always been done this way” are too inflexible to deal with any major changes. And the truth is, change is inevitable. Whether a company is dealing with a pandemic, changing market tastes, new technology, or any other foundation-shaking change, it’s necessary to roll with the punches, rethink the current system, and try new approaches.
Embracing Other Perspectives
This is why it’s so crucial to open yourself to others’ viewpoints and voices. When we make snap judgments, we close doors. When we’re uncomfortable with someone’s ideas, perspective, or even the way they are saying something, we might think or say things like:
“That will never work”
“No one will go for that”
“This isn’t in the spirit of the company” (Or: “this doesn’t embrace the company’s culture”)
“We don’t do things that way”
When you catch yourself closing to others’ ideas or making immediate judgments, it’s a good idea to pause. Acknowledge your bias or discomfort. Then, ask yourself, “What if…”
“What if this idea does have merit?”
“What if others agree, and I just haven’t realized it?”
“What if it’s time to reshape company culture?”
“What if the company can start modifying its approaches and try something new?”
The other important element in opening yourself to alternative perspectives is becoming an attentive listener. Instead of immediately coming up with a response, take the time to truly listen, absorb what is being said, and genuinely consider it.
Workplaces function best when everyone participates. When you promote a true “marketplace” of ideas, you open the door to all kinds of creative solutions, innovations, and new opportunities. As a leader, you play an important role in establishing the kind of open and welcoming atmosphere that considers new ideas, listens to everyone’s thoughts, and isn’t afraid to depart from the “same old” way of doing things. Start making an effort to open doors for others, instead of keeping them closed and locked.
MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE.
Tags: alternate viewpoints, better ideas and creativity, consider others POVs, margaret smith career coach, margaret smith leadership, open yourself to others perspectives, value others perspectives
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- Posted under Advice from a Life Coach, Communication, Teamwork
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