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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

February 28, 2024 How Self-Care is Linked to Success

Many of my friends and colleagues tend to put themselves last. They go out of their way to help others, they stretch themselves thin, and they make sacrifices to support other people (whether family members or co-workers). When you’re so used to helping others, it may seem unnatural—or even selfish—to help yourself. However, that’s precisely what many of us need to do.

When we go, go, go and never stop to check in with ourselves and our personal wellbeing, we often get burnt out, irritable, and scattered. Many of us treat our vehicles better than we treat ourselves! We take our cars in for oil changes and tune-ups, we let the engine cool down after a long trip. Why can’t we treat ourselves with the same respect and care?

To me, self-care is not just a buzzword or a trend. It’s not self-centered or selfish. Rather, it is essential.

If we do not take care of ourselves, our health, relationships, and work can all suffer. Studies show that the majority of Americans do not get enough sleep or enough exercise, and that can take a serious toll on our energy levels throughout the day. But really, we don’t need studies to tell us that self-care is vital. All we have to do is pay attention to how we’re feeling. If you’re feeling unenergized, exhausted, or distracted, how will you be able to give it your all? How can you perform well at work? Or be a good friend or family member? Or rise to meet the challenges that tend to crop up on any given day?

You can’t. Or, at least, it is much more difficult to do these things when you’re not taking care of yourself. Instead of letting your personal wellbeing slip to the backburner, I challenge you to give it priority this coming month.

Here are a few ideas to practice better self-care:

  • Set aside time each day for self-reflection and relaxation
  • Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you unwind, such as reading, taking a walk, or listening to music
  • Prioritize getting enough sleep each night
  • Make healthy eating choices and fuel your body with nutritious foods
  • Stay hydrated by drinking enough water throughout the day
  • Take breaks during the workday to stretch and move your body
  • Connect with loved ones and nurture your relationships
  • Practice mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress and increase focus
  • Set boundaries and learn to say no when necessary
  • Seek support from a therapist or counselor if needed
  • Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion

Remember that self-care is not a one-time thing. It is an ongoing practice that requires consistency and commitment. By prioritizing your well-being and making self-care a daily habit, you can increase your energy levels, reduce stress, and improve your overall quality of life. So take a moment to assess your current self-care routine and make any necessary adjustments. Remember, you deserve to take care of yourself just as much as you take care of others.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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January 24, 2024 Escape Your Winter Rut!

Image by kinkate from Pixabay

This can be an odd time of year. The holidays are long over (with all the togetherness and cheer that tends to come with them), and we’re now forging ahead into the new year. By now, your new year’s resolutions might be growing a bit stale, and your motivation might be slipping. It’s too early to think about spring, or your next summer vacation. It’s just…mid-winter.

If you’re finding yourself in a rut, or a mid-winter slump, that’s okay! It’s normal. Millions of Americans experience seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is characterized by difficulties concentrating, listlessness, low motivation, and other symptoms that are reminiscent of depression. And even if you do not suffer from SAD, you might find yourself in a bit of a lull during the winter months.

What can you do? How can you pull yourself out of this rut and move forward with renewed energy and spirit? I suggest trying any of the following:

Plan a Fun Event

It is said that planning a vacation can give a person just as much (if not more) joy than actually going on the vacation. So get planning! You might start planning for a beach holiday, a long cabin weekend, a friends’ night out, a dinner party–anything to help get the wheels turning and your planning muscles in gear. Even if the event is months down the road, it’s nice to have something to look forward to–a special treat to help break up the monotony.

Work in Sprints

If you need to temporarily boost your productivity, try working in sprints. This involves setting a timer for a few minutes (try 15 or 20 minutes at first) and working on ONE project for the allotted time. Don’t multitask! Don’t attempt to tackle several different projects. Just close out of social media and any other distractions, and do your sprint. When the time is up, do something different for a while and then try another sprint. You might be amazed by how much you can accomplish.

Move!

Part of your winter lethargy may come from not moving around much. In warm weather, we are more inclined to go outside, take a walk, go on a bike ride, or any number of activities that keep us active and engaged. This doesn’t necessarily come as naturally in the winter, so you may have to make a concerted effort to fit in some physical activity, be it outdoors (skiing, snowshoeing) or indoors (a gym workout, yoga). It is well known that exercise can help boost your energy and keep you sharp, so get moving!

Embrace the Season

Year after year, the Scandinavian countries are found to be among the happiest in the world. Despite long, bitterly cold winters, the Scandinavian people find ways to get cozy and embrace the winter season. The Danish word “hygge” is a concept that essentially means getting comfortable and cozy, and having good cheer. You, too, can embrace hygge! Buy a new winter sweater and some blankets, prepare warm winter beverages, take a sauna (in MN, it is possible to rent a mobile sauna or buy some time in a stationary sauna), invite friends over for a dinner party, watch a favorite movie…the list goes on!

Refocus

Sometimes, we need to take a few quiet minutes to refocus and replan for the path ahead. It’s possible your new year’s resolution isn’t working out, and it would be beneficial to tweak it somewhat. Or, your current work might not be going as planned. Instead of pressing ahead, I recommend taking the time to think about the big picture (remember Forest Thinking?) and re-strategize. Plan some concrete goals for yourself, break them into realistic pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself along the way. A simple refocus can help get you back on track and renew your energy.

If you’re feeling caught in a mid-winter slump, it is usually possible to pull yourself out. Try some of these strategies, be kind to yourself, and keep going. And if you truly need some additional support, do not be afraid to seek the help you need. This could come in the form of a mentor, a good friend, a licensed therapist, or a trusted co-worker. We’re all in this together and, undoubtedly, spring will come again.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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January 17, 2024 Learning to Be Kinder to Yourself

If you’re reading this today, know that you are more than you realize. You are smarter, you shine brighter, and you touch more people’s lives than you know.

Far too often, we do not recognize our own self worth. Many of us are our own worst critics. Even if we accomplish something great, we tend to pick apart our performance, looking at the blemishes instead of the bright spots. But what does this achieve? Sure, it’s helpful to learn from mistakes, but it is absolutely NOT helpful to put ourselves down, be overly critical, or tell ourselves we’re not good enough or capable enough.

An article by Psychology Today discusses our tendency to be tough on ourselves, saying, “Often we self-criticize on autopilot and need to wake up and realize the damage we are doing.” Absolutely.

Start paying attention to that little voice that tends to run through your head. Is it usually negative or self-deprecating? Do you often tell yourself that you can’t do something, or that you’re not accomplished enough to do something? Do you have difficulties accepting compliments or recognizing a job well done? I call this little negative voice your “gremlins,” those self-saboteurs that make you doubt yourself and your abilities.

How do you banish these gremlins? How can you become kinder and more forgiving to yourself?

This involves a fundamental change in perspective, and THAT does not happen overnight. If you’ve been putting yourself down for a long time, it’s going to take a while to lift yourself up. And you’ll probably have good days and bad days along the way–days when you feel confident and brilliant, and other days when your impostor syndrome is strong and you doubt yourself at every turn.

But this shift in perspective is not impossible. Try starting with any of these suggestions:

  • Remind yourself that no one is perfect (and holding that impossible standard is not healthy or realistic).
  • Recognize your achievements (think about something you’ve accomplished recently and give yourself a pat on the back)
  • Accept compliments (simply say, “Thank you” instead of shrugging off the compliment)
  • Treat yourself how you strive to treat others (Would you constantly criticize a friend? Would you repeatedly put down your co-workers? Probably not! So, don’t do this to yourself.)
  • Learn to let go (Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn’t help to fixate on them. To move on, try journaling about the situation, go on a long walk, talk about it with a trusted listener, throw yourself into a healthy distraction, such as painting, exercise, cooking, or whatever engages and energizes you.)
  • Stop comparing yourself with others. (People often put their best face forward, especially when it comes to social media. Stop comparing yourself to impossible standards and place your focus on self-growth and affirmation.)

Most of us would benefit from being a little kinder to ourselves. This isn’t an act of hubris, but an act of genuine care and compassion. Yes, we need to learn from our mistakes, but we do not need to beat ourselves up in the process. Be more forgiving and patient with yourself, and make a conscious effort to banish those gremlins. Your life will be better for it.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

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