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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

February 27, 2013 Take Another Look At Your Weak Points

The fact is, you have strengths. But you also have weaknesses that can get in the way of your goals. I’ve talked a lot about the importance of finding your strengths and developing the skill of being able to plug these into the world around you.

Today, I want to address your weaknesses.

Remember in high school, when your counselor encouraged you to be “well-rounded?” “Pick up an instrument if you’re an athlete,” they said. “Take up painting if you’ve never done it before.” Essentially, they prompted you to flesh out your world and your experiences.

At a certain point, whether we were in high school or college, we honed in on our strengths. We polished them, trained to be able to apply them and, as a result, our focus was taken away from other potential strengths.

I want to talk about the areas in our lives that we’ve abandoned during our drive toward our strengths. It is true we have strengths and weaknesses, yes, but this does not mean that we shouldn’t expand into other areas of interest.

And I don’t mean just pick up another hobby. Hobbies are great, but I’m thinking a bit bigger here. I’m thinking about treading into the dangerous waters. The places you’ve avoided because they were places that made you uncomfortable.

These are the places that truly test you and spurn growth. Staying attached to one strength or skill-set has its advantages, that’s for sure. You can become one of the best at whatever it is you do well. But in the meantime–and this is the downside–you lose a greater perspective of the world. This one life on this Earth contains an immense amount of opportunity, so why would you stick to one bitty corner the whole time?

You know by now that you’re not good at everything. But that doesn’t give you license to simply throw your hands up and say, “This isn’t my strong point,” every time you encounter a situation that plays to your weak points.

This week, consider things you aren’t so good at, and give them another try. You may surprise yourself; the story goes that Einstein failed math in grade school.

Keep on growing!

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February 19, 2013 Leading Through Positive Perception

positive perception

This past week I attended a seminar given by Melissa DeLay, a communication and business coach, who spoke on the art of persuasive communication. I’ve touched on this topic myself in a past post, but I found her talk especially relevant to my interest in effective leadership.

DeLay stressed the importance of perception, specifically addressing how positive perception allows leaders to be better suited to close deals, increase loyalty and communicate with confidence, even in the most difficult situations.

We often feel pressured to say “yes” or “no”–to commit one way or another, she says, and this ultimately has an adverse effect on our productivity and personal happiness in the long run.  Instead of hastily agreeing to a project,  DeLay suggests we internalize what she calls “magical phrases,” which help accomplish the following:

1. They Buy Time. You’re not forced to decide on the spot when confronted with a proposal. These phrases give you a chance to weigh your options without committing prematurely.

2. They Defuse The Situation. In “sticky” situations that may fall anywhere between personal disagreements or declining on a proposal, magical phrases enable you to neutralize the situation.

3. They Make You Look Good. You aren’t committing to something and then going back on it later. You are in control.

So what are these “magical phrases” Ms. DeLay is talking about?

At their core, these phrases all contain three characteristics: They are authentic, considerate, and objective.

As a way to turn someone down, for instance, she offers this phrase: “I don’t see a match between what you’re focused on and what I’m focused on. I’m going to have to decline your offer.” Saying this shows that you understand and have thought the offer over, thereby demonstrating consideration. It shows that you’ve tried to be as objective as possible, in that you are attempting to distinguish between your focus and the focus of the individual making the offer. And, because it clearly states up front good reasoning for the decline, the statement expresses authenticity. In other words, even though you aren’t being rude, you aren’t sugar coating it either.

Other “magical phrases” DeLay shared during her talk:

“Let me give that some thought. I don’t want to make a hasty decision.”

“I’m deeply concerned about this because…”

“I don’t care to speculate; what I can say is…”

Each of these examples fulfills the core characteristics of the magical phrase: they are each authentic, considerate, and objective.

What struck me is the fact that in positions of leadership, we are often forced to juggle the roles of being mentor, manager, friend, employer, “bad guy,” and the list goes on. It is easy to feel trapped between these roles, not sure which one should be worn at what time. But DeLay’s “magical phrases” embody the basis of strong leadership, in that they are consistent, honest and transparent.

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February 6, 2013 Want To Be A Better Leader? Become A Lifelong Learner

Strong leaders are avid, continual learners. They don’t stop seeking out new opportunities after they’ve graduated, or once they’ve landed a job; they treat everyday as another chance to acquire knowledge and skills.

No good leader can go without this ingrained drive toward learning. Why, you ask?

1. Leadership Is More About What You Do Than What You Say

As a leader, you set the standards. You may say all sorts of things about your expectations for your team, but it isn’t your words they’ll be watching, it’s your actions. In order to lead, you must act according to the standards you put in place.

This means leading the charge in the pursuit of innovation and discovery. It means diving into uncharted territory, getting your hands dirty, and making mistakes. It does not mean delegating tasks from the sidelines.

2. Leadership Roles Change Between Times And Circumstances

Thus, in order to remain a relevant leader, you must learn and continue to learn. Just because you were in a leadership role 10 years ago does not necessarily mean you’re qualified to lead today. Each situation you encounter presents new challenges that can only be accomplished with an appetite for new knowledge. There’s a reason why medical doctors are required to continue their specialized education long after they graduate from medical school. Could you imagine going to a surgeon who was using standard practices from the 1940s?

3. Great Leaders Seek Innovators And Innovation

Every great leader is adept at seeking out individuals with specific strength sets and building a functional team from the bottom up. For a team to be successful, you’ll have to find people who probably know quite a bit about things you know nothing at all about. Thus, you’ll have to do a bit of learning in order to adequately assess a candidate’s potential, and to communicate with them effectively.

4. Well-Rounded People Make The Best Leaders

To be well-rounded, you need to learn a wide array of subjects, disciplines and areas of expertise. You don’t need to be an expert at everything, but it’s important to have a working knowledge of the world outside of your niche, as it gives you a greater sense of perspective and maturity. Go outside your comfort zone; read history or philosophy if you’ve always been a numbers person. Take public speaking classes if you’re shy (Toastmasters is a great club for this). Learn a language. Focus on areas you’ve told yourself that you’re bad at, and give it another go. You may surprise yourself.

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