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“Creating Successful Leaders”

Category Archives: Advice from a Life Coach

April 25, 2013 “Just Be Yourself!” Leadership and Authenticity

“Authentic leaders remain focused on where they are going but never lose sight of where they came from.’

Striving to be authentic is hard enough on its own, but in a leadership role it can seem impossible. There’s the constant battle between expressing our true selves and managing the competing personalities and opinions of those around us. It’s the dance between plain-speaking and politically-conscious wording. It’s the struggle of trying to remain “human” in a leadership role, while simultaneously appearing resilient to any bumps in the road.

And believe me, we must stay human if we are to be effective leaders. People want a leader who is approachable, honest, forthcoming; someone who knows where they are coming from. They want to know that you have opinions and emotions outside of your role, that you have passions and hobbies, that you root for a sports team or enjoy a night out. We can all point to a leader in our lives who was distant, stale, or off-putting, and I’m willing to bet that the person you’re envisioning wasn’t a very effective leader.

So how exactly do we convey our authentic, imperfect selves right along side the impression of strength and confidence that all leaders must possess?

1. Striking A Balance 

This takes time. You must make an effort to stay approachable and friendly, but also know when to assume the “fearless leader” role. There is no formula for this, unfortunately, because every leadership role requires qualities specific to the organization they lead. The main thing to do is to be observant and receptive to your environment. You must also be flexible, willing to adapt.

2. Failing

Great leaders accept their flaws and learn from them. You will make mistakes, as we all do, and you may be inclined to shove it under the rug. Don’t do this. While mistakes are embarrassing, they provide an opportunity for you to show your human side. If you handle it with grace and humility, and focus on how to handle situations more aptly in the future, your organization will see that you’re authentic and appreciate you for it.

3. Making Clear Distinctions

I used to give my staff hand-written thank you notes when they did a great job. One man in particular held on to my note, as it reminded him that he was a capable, valued worker. At an appropriate time, I was able to let my leader guard down and express my appreciation. This strengthened my connection to this member of my team, which in turn boosted productivity. The trick is learning when and where it’s okay to lose the leader role and “be yourself.”

 

I firmly believe leadership is a learned trait. Sure, some are naturally more prone to leading than others, but with time, patience, and a willingness to be brave, you can teach yourself the balance needed to lead authentically and effectively.

 

Goffee, Rob and Gareth Jones. “Managing Authenticity: The Paradox of Great Leadership.” Harvard Business Review, December 2005, accessed April 23 2013. http://hbr.org/2005/12/managing-authenticity-the-paradox-of-great-leadership/ar/1

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April 17, 2013 Is It The Job, Or Your Attitude?

We spend at least 40 hours a week at our job. That’s almost one third of our waking lives. So we better darn well get satisfaction from all that time and effort.

To recap on last week, Cal Newport’s book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You highlights three components that result in job satisfaction:

Autonomy – feeling like you have some control of your job, and that your actions make a difference

Competence – knowing that you are good at what you do

Relatedness – being able to connect with your coworkers

Newport contrasts these “ingredients,” as he calls them, with the pervasive belief that passions lead to success. Instead of following your passions, Newport argues that becoming very good at what you do, and knowing that it makes a difference, transforms a droll job into a rewarding career.

But let’s narrow the focus today to you and your job. Do you feel you have control of your own work? Does it make a difference? Are you valued? And can you relate with your coworkers?

Answering these honestly will give you a clue as to why you may feel dissatisfied with your work.

From here, the first thing to do is to take ownership of your skills. You can blame your job and your circumstances all you like, and you may have good reasons to do so. But this won’t change a thing. Become determined, if only for your own satisfaction, to master the skills needed to excel in your field.

There is no excuse not to work toward mastery, because no one has ever mastered anything completely. Take Jiro Ono, for instance. Widely considered the best sushi chef in the world, 85 year old Ono tirelessly pursues perfection in his craft, as depicted in the award-winning documentary, “Jiro Dreams Of Sushi.” His age and position in the culinary world don’t deter him from chasing after perfection.

So, you can always get better. While at work, take a personal inventory of areas in which you need to improve, and occupy your day with trying to master the skills your job requires. You feel better when you know that your work is valued and desired. Aim to be sought after.

Second, look at your past to boost your confidence about your present situation. Leadership coaches Amy Jen Su and Muriel Maignan Wilkins write: “To strengthen your confidence, first face the facts. When you look to your past, you’ll realize that successes often outweigh failures. And more importantly, that you survived through the failures and gleaned priceless lessons along the way.”

Looking back puts things in perspective. You may just realize that although your present job may not be ideal (and no job is), you have it now because of your accomplishments, qualifications and perseverance leading up to where you are now. This should give you some confidence and reassurance of your decisions.

References

Newport, Cal. So Good They Can’t Ignore You. New York: Hachette Book Group, 2012.

Su, Amy Jen, and Muriel Maignan Wilkins. “To Strengthen Your Confidence, Look to Your Past.” Harvard Business Review, April 11, 2013. Accessed April 17, 2013. http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/04/to_strengthen_your_confidence.html

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April 12, 2013 The Difference Between Skills And Passions When It Comes To A Great Job

In his book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You, Cal Newport makes a startling observation: “When it comes to creating work you love, following your passion is not particularly useful advice.”

How can this be? Don’t passions lead to great careers? That’s the common thinking, but Newport found that this is actually a dangerous way to search for a rewarding career. Your passions don’t always translate well from what you’re interested in to what you do for work, for one thing. For another, how can you know what a career will be like if before you’ve tried it? An aspiring musician may be passionate about music, but can they honestly say they’ll be happy with music for a career? Of course not; after all, I don’t think any of us have ever had a job that perfectly met our initial expectations of it.

Newport isn’t saying that being passionate is a bad thing. He’s instead warning us not to put too much confidence in our passions as the sure way to a rewarding career. It’s the other way around, in fact, as he explains:  “Passion is a side effect of mastery.”

It turns out that  current research (the Self-Determination Theory) has pointed to three main components that make you more motivated in your work:

Autonomy – the feeling that your actions throughout your day matter, and that you have control over your own work

Competence – knowing that you’re good at your work

Relatedness – connection to others in your place of work

These three ingredients, according to the Self-Determination Theory, enable you to achieve mastery in your work, and from there passion and happiness will naturally result. 

That’s right: rewarding careers are created through finding, refining and pursuing your skills, not your passions.

It may take a while longer to enact this principle, but I think Mr. Newport is onto something. We too often give “passion” too much credit when it comes to finding a great job and growing in it.

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Reference:

Newport, Cal. So Good They Can’t Ignore You. New York: Hachette Book Group, 2012.

 

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