UXL Blog

I have officially retired and am in the process of winding down existing projects and responsibilities. Even this blog will come to a close before the end of this year. As I move forward into true retirement (not counting my first retirement from 3M), I have been thinking about who I am as a person without an official occupation and title. Who is Margaret Smith without the career coaching, consulting, public speaking, teaching, etc.? Will my identity change? Will people see me differently?

It is said that retirement can initially feel like grieving. Part of you pines for the rhythm of the workplace, the chats with co-workers, the assignments that fill your days and keep you focused. When you lose the structure and reliability of everyday work, that can be disorienting. You’re suddenly in charge of your own schedule and filling your own days; there are no fires to put out, emails to answer, or projects to complete.

And this brings us back to the issue of identity. Without the scaffolding of work propping you up, who are you?

I’ve found that people who have not put in the time to form social networks, develop a hobby, or join a volunteer group or other collective are more disoriented after retirement. In my experience, men are usually more affected than women, since many men rely on their co-workers as a primary social network and/or group. They might go golfing with work buddies or attend work-centric parties. But these groups of people may or may not be there for you after you leave the workplace.

In my own life, I have found meaning in retirement by amplifying my volunteering, meeting up with friends, attending social groups, and more. Since my son and daughter-in-law now live down the street from me, I also help them with everyday tasks, including looking after my grandsons.

To me, identity can and should go beyond your work. What causes do you believe in? Who are you in relation to others (a friend, a spouse, a parent, a mentor, etc.)? And how do you show up in the world? Do you make an effort to lead with kindness? Do you volunteer your time or dollars, and speak up against injustices? Do you let life happen to you, or do you grab it by the horns?

These are some of the questions you could ask yourself when considering your place after retirement. Instead of grieving what you’ve lost, reframe retirement as an opportunity—a chance to reinvent yourself, become more active in your community, form deeper bonds, and try the things you’ve always wanted to try. Start taking French cooking classes, or join a stained-glass workshop, or travel to the far-flung places you’ve always wanted to see.

All that time and space without the structure of work can seem daunting at first, but I’m confident you can fill it. And there’s no rush. Take some time to reflect on how you’d like to spend your days and years and consider what will bring you fulfillment and joy. This is how you can recapture your identity in retirement.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE.

Tags: Margaret Smith life coach, Margaret Smith minneapolis, new identity in retirement, new life chapter, reinventing yourself older adult, retirement and identity