UXL Blog

As a leader, tough conversations are inevitable. There will come a point when you’ll need to deliver some less-than-great news, provide negative feedback, or make a difficult request. And avoiding these types of tough conversations is NOT the answer. In many cases, the more you delay, the more difficult the discussion will be once you eventually have it.

However, it IS possible to effectively set the stage for tough interactions. This will help to soften any difficult blows and provide a safe space for feedback, commentary, and questions. Let’s talk about four ways to set the stage for tough conversations.

Choose an Appropriate Time and Setting

Where and when you decide to meet can make a huge difference. When talking about a sensitive issue, it is best to find a quiet, comfortable, and private place to speak. Make sure to choose a time when both parties will be free from distractions and able to focus on the conversation. This will ensure a more productive and respectful dialogue. By setting the stage appropriately, you create an atmosphere conducive to open communication and problem-solving. Additionally, being mindful of the environment can help create a sense of safety and comfort, encouraging honesty and transparency during tough conversations.

Be Transparent

When inviting someone to engage in a difficult conversation, it is usually best to be transparent and clear about the purpose of the conversation. This transparency will help to avoid confusion and set the right expectations. Clearly stating the reason for the discussion allows both parties to prepare mentally and emotionally. It also establishes trust and shows respect for the other person’s time and feelings. Open communication from the start fosters a more constructive and meaningful dialogue.

Prepare

Before engaging in the conversation, it is essential to prepare yourself for a variety of questions and reactions. Anticipate what the other person might ask or what pushback they might have. Consider different scenarios and prepare appropriate responses. I encourage you to practice out loud in front of a mirror, even if that seems a little odd at the time! It really does help. This preparation will help you stay composed and focused during the conversation. Being mentally ready for various outcomes demonstrates your commitment to handling the tough conversation effectively. Moreover, preparation allows you to convey your message clearly and logically, reducing the chances of misunderstandings or conflicts. Remember, the more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll be in navigating challenging discussions.

Commit to Empathy

In my experience, the most productive conversations are ones in which both parties feel that they are listened to, respected, and understood. Make a commitment to enter the conversation with empathy. That means actively listening, asking appropriate questions, and aiming for understanding. Ensuring that both parties feel heard and valued fosters a collaborative environment where tough conversations can lead to growth and improved relationships. By showing empathy, you create a safe space for open dialogue, allowing each person to express themselves honestly and without judgment.

Remember, the goal of these conversations is not only to address challenges but also to strengthen trust and understanding between individuals. Practicing empathy can transform difficult discussions into opportunities for positive change and progress.

While it’s never fun to engage in a tough conversation, it is often necessary to do so in order to clear the air, make positive progress, and/or benefit the organization. By approaching your difficult conversations with empathy and tact, you can create a more positive outcome that leads to growth and understanding.

MARGARET SMITH IS A CAREER COACH, AUTHOR, INSIGHTS® DISCOVERY (AND DEEPER DISCOVERY) LICENSED PRACTITIONER, AND FOUNDER OF UXL. SHE HOSTS WORKSHOPS FOR PEOPLE WHO NEED CAREER OR PERSONAL GUIDANCE. 
CHECK OUT MARGARET’S ONLINE LEADERSHIP COURSE. 

Tags: difficult conversations at work, engaging in difficult conversations, how to deal with tough conversations, Margaret Smith business coach, margaret smith career coach, set stage for tough conversations